Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Facebook and Instagram, sitting in a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes Facebook pushing a baby carriage.

Or at least that's how it would go if Facebook and Instagram were people, but they're not!

Wow, what a week it's been for Instagram, first they announce that Instagram will be available for Android phones - which got all the iPhoner's up in arms because how dare they let those dreaded Android people have access to their precious precious picture taking application.

Well let me tell you, Instagram doesn't care about you iPhoner's they only care about the money they make. And with Android now taking more than 50% of the phone platforms it only makes sense, so you iPhoner's stick that in your iPhone and smoke it. You never were special, you never were precious, you were only a stepping stone in Instagrams major plan to take over the picture taking world with a bunch of silly filters.

And with Instagram being downloaded more than 50 Million times (just so you can see it, that's: 50,000,000 times) it's bound to be ever larger than it was on iPhone, so phfttttt to you Apple fanboys.

Now, it's just been announced that Mark Zuckerburg paid $1B (just so you can see it, that's $1,000,000,000 (3 more zeros than a million) for Instagram so he could integrate it into Facebook. A BILLION FREAKIN' DOLLARS!!!!! That's just crazy....for an application on your phone that applies filters to your crappy pictures to make them look like crappy pictures that your parents took in the 70's, just so you can pretend to be a hipster.

I don't get the point of Instagram? What's the point of taking a nice, hi-res picture and degrading it to make it look like it's 40 years old? I thought the point of new technology was to make things brighter and better than they were in the olden days? Does a picture of a flower look nicer if you "think" that it's 40 years old and not juts taken seconds ago on your smartphone and uploaded to the Internet where you can share it with all your friends?

I won't be downloading Instagram, sorry, I like my photos the new-phangled way - bright and sharp.

I imagine that when Zuckerburg was in meetings with Instagram, he was channeling Dr. Evil from Austin Power's and put his pinky to his finger and said "I'll give you one BILLION dollars" and at the same time was thinking "Wow, I got such a deal"

Monday, April 09, 2012

My dog is Gladys Kravitz

As I sit here in the darkend dining room the dog is sitting on his ottoman looking out the window playing Gladys Kravitz. The cat is perched on the kitchen table trying to coerce food from the fridge to his bowl - it never works. And my husband is watching Dancing With The Stars.

Got back from the park with Deeohji and I realized just how much I enjoy having a dog. We were down there playing fetch with a ball. Me throwing it, I know, imagine that, and him chasing it and running to the other side of the park with it instead of coming back to me.

I know he thinks I throw the ball like a girl, but it doesn't discourage me. I keep throwing the ball, and that's all he really cares about.

I discovered that I enjoy screwing with my dogs head - not in a bad way. On our way back to the house, which is just a few blocks, he was straggling and taking his time smelling everything between the sidewalk and the street like he was a bloodhound on the tracks of a serial murderer. As we got closer to the corner he started taking even longer and resisting when I would pull the chain, he was NOT ready to go home yet. As we approached the corner I sped up walking a bit, I shortened the leash a bit and prepared him to "cross the street." He sped up a bit, tugged on the leash a bit and as we got to the corner.....we made a sharp right turn and proceeded down the street, suddenly we weren't going home. So he slowed down a bit and thought he had a few more minutes.....that was until I walked down to a clearing in the street and crossed there....BURN doggy....BURN! Poor boy was so dejected.

Well, I wish I had done that....we ended up going ALL the way around the block.....damn dog.