Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The most expensive lunch
I don't know who to really be mad at, so I'll just be mad at myself because I'm the only one to blame...but I had the most expensive lunch EVER today, and I've just got to laugh about it!
Let me start off by saying that typically, I get to go home for lunch - it's a nice perk! I live just a few miles from work and I'm able to make it home, have a nutrious lunch, watch some TV and then have a bit of road rage on my way back to the office for the afternoon. But like I said...typically.
Today was not a typical day, a friend had some teeth pulled and asked if I could get him some ice cream and bring it to him - how could I deny someone asking for ice cream? So I puttered to the store, grabbed the ice cream and dropped it off at my friends house, he was in some discomfort but the Vicodin were kicking in so he was happy. I had been planning on getting my hair cut during lunch but instead decided to grab a quick bite to eat, take it back to the office with me and then leave a few minutes early instead...so I was trying to determine where to have lunch.
White Castle? No, too greasy. McDonald's? No, too full of regret. Jimmy John's? Hell yeah, they're fast - but not cheap - and they're healthy if you don't get the mayo, so I decided on Jimmy John's.
Now here's where the fun part of the story comes into play. Last year the City of Chicago sold off their parking meters to a third-party and in the time of a year a few things happened. Parking went from $0.25 an hour to $1.25 an hour. To facilitate this daily rape, parking meters were removed and replaced with boxes that instead print out a receipt that you display on your dashboard. The only nice thing about this system is that you can use a credit card as a form of payment, so the anal penetration doesn't feel as bad.
So.....I pull up to the Jimmy John's, I get out of the car, give a quick look up and down the street for enforcement officers and deicde - I might add, for the first time - to just run into Jimmy John's grab my sandwich instead of putting a quarter in the parking meter. Hell, Jimmy John's advertises that they're the fastest, both for making sandwiches and for delivery, so I figured at most, I'd be in and out the door in less than five minutes. Previously I'd done this in under three minutes - it's amazing...but not today.
Instead, the lady in front of me, for the love of god, can't make up her mind what she wants. She even says to the cashier "I don't know what I want" and instead of stepping aside and letting me order, she stands there for way too long contemplating the menu board, finally she orders. And then one of the guys making sandwiches goes on break. Then the woman who was apparently in line before the lady who couldn't make up her mind comes back to pay for her lunch - I guess she couldn't dig the money out of her purse when she was in line the first time.
Finally, it's my time to order, I spew out my order, pay and wait for my sandwich to get made....which seems to take forever. As the sandwich maker is handing me my sandwich, I turn and glance outside and what do I see.......none other than a Parking Enforcement Agent (you can't say Meter Maid anylonger, that's not PC). CRAP, FUCK, SHIT, I say to myself as I grab my sandwich and head out the door.
I cross the street, but not before the Jimmy John's Delivery Guy looks at me, points at my car and says "yours" to which I reply "yeah." The PEA is walking from the front of my car, where she saw I didn't have a parking receipt, to the back of my car to get my license number while she's punching in the numbers on her handheld computer. I walk up and say "Hello?" She looks at me and says "Oh, I'm sorry man." I tell her, it's not her fault, it's my fault, I should have paid for parking, but Jimmy John's wasn't as fast as they advertise today.
We both chuckle and she says "Yeah, don't they have a commercial about a Police Officer giving someone a ticket?" We both laugh as she rips the ticket off of her printer and says "I really hate to do this, you're the nicest guy I've ever given a ticket too," as she hands me the $50 parking ticket stuffed in a bright orange VIOLATION envelope.
In case you're wondering, this is the first time EVER that I've gotten a meter violation ticket - and it'll be the last one too!
Needless to say, I took my time and enjoyed that $50 sandwich!
Let me start off by saying that typically, I get to go home for lunch - it's a nice perk! I live just a few miles from work and I'm able to make it home, have a nutrious lunch, watch some TV and then have a bit of road rage on my way back to the office for the afternoon. But like I said...typically.
Today was not a typical day, a friend had some teeth pulled and asked if I could get him some ice cream and bring it to him - how could I deny someone asking for ice cream? So I puttered to the store, grabbed the ice cream and dropped it off at my friends house, he was in some discomfort but the Vicodin were kicking in so he was happy. I had been planning on getting my hair cut during lunch but instead decided to grab a quick bite to eat, take it back to the office with me and then leave a few minutes early instead...so I was trying to determine where to have lunch.
White Castle? No, too greasy. McDonald's? No, too full of regret. Jimmy John's? Hell yeah, they're fast - but not cheap - and they're healthy if you don't get the mayo, so I decided on Jimmy John's.
Now here's where the fun part of the story comes into play. Last year the City of Chicago sold off their parking meters to a third-party and in the time of a year a few things happened. Parking went from $0.25 an hour to $1.25 an hour. To facilitate this daily rape, parking meters were removed and replaced with boxes that instead print out a receipt that you display on your dashboard. The only nice thing about this system is that you can use a credit card as a form of payment, so the anal penetration doesn't feel as bad.
So.....I pull up to the Jimmy John's, I get out of the car, give a quick look up and down the street for enforcement officers and deicde - I might add, for the first time - to just run into Jimmy John's grab my sandwich instead of putting a quarter in the parking meter. Hell, Jimmy John's advertises that they're the fastest, both for making sandwiches and for delivery, so I figured at most, I'd be in and out the door in less than five minutes. Previously I'd done this in under three minutes - it's amazing...but not today.
Instead, the lady in front of me, for the love of god, can't make up her mind what she wants. She even says to the cashier "I don't know what I want" and instead of stepping aside and letting me order, she stands there for way too long contemplating the menu board, finally she orders. And then one of the guys making sandwiches goes on break. Then the woman who was apparently in line before the lady who couldn't make up her mind comes back to pay for her lunch - I guess she couldn't dig the money out of her purse when she was in line the first time.
Finally, it's my time to order, I spew out my order, pay and wait for my sandwich to get made....which seems to take forever. As the sandwich maker is handing me my sandwich, I turn and glance outside and what do I see.......none other than a Parking Enforcement Agent (you can't say Meter Maid anylonger, that's not PC). CRAP, FUCK, SHIT, I say to myself as I grab my sandwich and head out the door.
I cross the street, but not before the Jimmy John's Delivery Guy looks at me, points at my car and says "yours" to which I reply "yeah." The PEA is walking from the front of my car, where she saw I didn't have a parking receipt, to the back of my car to get my license number while she's punching in the numbers on her handheld computer. I walk up and say "Hello?" She looks at me and says "Oh, I'm sorry man." I tell her, it's not her fault, it's my fault, I should have paid for parking, but Jimmy John's wasn't as fast as they advertise today.
We both chuckle and she says "Yeah, don't they have a commercial about a Police Officer giving someone a ticket?" We both laugh as she rips the ticket off of her printer and says "I really hate to do this, you're the nicest guy I've ever given a ticket too," as she hands me the $50 parking ticket stuffed in a bright orange VIOLATION envelope.
In case you're wondering, this is the first time EVER that I've gotten a meter violation ticket - and it'll be the last one too!
Needless to say, I took my time and enjoyed that $50 sandwich!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
I'm not lazy, I just don't care
**This is a vintage post that I wrote on 2/24/2007 but never posted, Enjoy!**
This was on a t-shirt of a kid at the airport, and you know what….it’s true. Why don’t people care any more?
Just the other day we were going back to work after having lunch as we’re getting near an intersection with a red light this woman pulls out in front of us – blocking us from turning right even though she could have let us by (since we were in the turn lane and she wasn’t turning) but she just didn’t care. Even more so, she proceeded to unwrap her pack of cigarettes and toss the cellophane and the foil OUT THE WINDOW! It irritates me to no end when people just toss garbage out of their car window – not caring. Someone else will pick it up or it will just collect on the street and blow around as soon as the snow melts and the March breezes hit the city.
When did we become a society of not caring? When did we become a society of “it’s all about me?” When did we become a society of “screw everyone else?” I don’t know, and I don’t like it. It makes me sad.
A few years ago I had to renew my driver’s license, since I had just moved to Illinois I had an out of state license – which required me to go to the DMV instead of the local satellite office. I was prepared for a bad experience but decided that it didn’t need to be. All through the process I was pleasant to the people I encountered “hello, how are you?” and got typical responses back. It wasn’t until I was at the last station – the photo station when I waited in line and when I got to the front I said “Hello, how are you today?” The lady snapped at me “What did you say?” Not shying back, I repeated myself. A smile came across her face and she said “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to people being nice. I’m well today, how are you?”
I continued on and got my picture taken – with a smile, I might add – and then waited for my name to be called. SMITH…..JONES…..HANSON….everyone’s name that was before me and then all I heard was “Michael” and I knew it was for me…as she handed me my new State of Illinois Driver’s license she smiled and said “Have a great day!”
So when did we become a society of groaners and all about me’s? It wasn’t this way when I was growing up? Is it technology?
As I sit here people are all looking at their hands…looking at the PDA’s in their hands, looking at the cellphones in their hands…looking at the iPod’s in their hands. Everyone is engrossed in their own little world. People are furiously typing away on their blackberries trying to communicate with others who aren’t with them. They’re withdrawn from what’s around them and not paying any attention.
Technology is great….technology is wonderful….but really, isn’t it just making us all lazy? We no longer have to walk to the telephone and stay within the vicinity of it only going as far as the cord will reach. We no longer have to get up from our couch to change the channel or the volume on the television. We no longer have to cook for ourselves – we can easily “order out” and have it delivered or pull something pre-made out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave oven. It’s true….we’ve become very lazy…..and with that, we no longer care.
Ain’t life grand?
This was on a t-shirt of a kid at the airport, and you know what….it’s true. Why don’t people care any more?
Just the other day we were going back to work after having lunch as we’re getting near an intersection with a red light this woman pulls out in front of us – blocking us from turning right even though she could have let us by (since we were in the turn lane and she wasn’t turning) but she just didn’t care. Even more so, she proceeded to unwrap her pack of cigarettes and toss the cellophane and the foil OUT THE WINDOW! It irritates me to no end when people just toss garbage out of their car window – not caring. Someone else will pick it up or it will just collect on the street and blow around as soon as the snow melts and the March breezes hit the city.
When did we become a society of not caring? When did we become a society of “it’s all about me?” When did we become a society of “screw everyone else?” I don’t know, and I don’t like it. It makes me sad.
A few years ago I had to renew my driver’s license, since I had just moved to Illinois I had an out of state license – which required me to go to the DMV instead of the local satellite office. I was prepared for a bad experience but decided that it didn’t need to be. All through the process I was pleasant to the people I encountered “hello, how are you?” and got typical responses back. It wasn’t until I was at the last station – the photo station when I waited in line and when I got to the front I said “Hello, how are you today?” The lady snapped at me “What did you say?” Not shying back, I repeated myself. A smile came across her face and she said “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to people being nice. I’m well today, how are you?”
I continued on and got my picture taken – with a smile, I might add – and then waited for my name to be called. SMITH…..JONES…..HANSON….everyone’s name that was before me and then all I heard was “Michael” and I knew it was for me…as she handed me my new State of Illinois Driver’s license she smiled and said “Have a great day!”
So when did we become a society of groaners and all about me’s? It wasn’t this way when I was growing up? Is it technology?
As I sit here people are all looking at their hands…looking at the PDA’s in their hands, looking at the cellphones in their hands…looking at the iPod’s in their hands. Everyone is engrossed in their own little world. People are furiously typing away on their blackberries trying to communicate with others who aren’t with them. They’re withdrawn from what’s around them and not paying any attention.
Technology is great….technology is wonderful….but really, isn’t it just making us all lazy? We no longer have to walk to the telephone and stay within the vicinity of it only going as far as the cord will reach. We no longer have to get up from our couch to change the channel or the volume on the television. We no longer have to cook for ourselves – we can easily “order out” and have it delivered or pull something pre-made out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave oven. It’s true….we’ve become very lazy…..and with that, we no longer care.
Ain’t life grand?
The line grows @jimmyjohns but I got mine. As always they were fast & polite
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The line isn't too long @jimmyjohns for $1 subs
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Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Monday, June 07, 2010
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Saturday, June 05, 2010
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