Why do you torment me like this

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That's what runs through my mind ever afternoon about 3:30....that time when it's a few hours after you've eaten lunch and still quite sometime before dinner.

That time when you've got a rumbling in your tummy but there's nothing to eat at your desk, well besides Jolly Ranchers and Hershey Bars!

That time when you think you're just going to fall over because the pains in your stomach are causing you to fold in half to hide the noises emanating from deep within you.

Damn you Little Debbie, I hate you for being so crunchy and oh so delightful!

Why do your crisp wafer layers have to be separated by smooth peanut butter and dipped in a light but ever present chocolate topping? WHY?

Why can't you taste like a stale tortilla chip dipped in rancid guacamole?

I hate you for being so convenient as well. Why do they have to put you in the vending machine where I can easily obtain you? Why don't they only sell healthy things in that damn machine? WHY? That's all I'm asking, WHY?

I hope you burn in hell Little Debbie, that's all I pray for every day. Well that's what I wish for every day when I'm munching on your lovely sweet goodness (uhm, get your mind out of the gutter please).

Rot in hell Little Debbie, Rot in Hell!