I'm so confused? It's only Thursday, she's been in the clinker for 4 days now. I thought she was supposed to be there for 40 days? I guess someone must have erased that 0 there at the end.
Why oh why is this such important news that it warrants the local channels breaking into the middle of Judge Mathis and Live with Regis & Kelly? And then when the shows come back on its with that dreaded message "We now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress." Well of course it's in progress you fuckers, now I'll never know if that bitch was lying when she said she had the receipt but lost it when her car was stolen, that was MUCH more important than Paris.
Why is it that Anna Nicole died, I got 14 text messages telling me that she was dead? And now that Paris is out of jail I've alredy received 3 text messages and 5 emails.
It's freakin' Paris Hilton....did you really think that she was going to spend the WHOLE time in jail?
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Thank You Sir, may I have another!
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
Off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Damit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
Off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
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