An amazing study in time

Check out this LINK

I would love to make a movie out of this as it reminds me a lot of this video I put together last year.

How could I have missed it?

Yesterday was my one year Blogversary!

Instead of tooting my own horn I want to say THANK YOU to all of the wonderful and amazing people that I have "met" through blogging.

I know have friends all over the world that I know I can drop in on whenever I want (right?!). It's amazing what a global community we have become, that we can all be involved in each others lives simply by reading posts.

So this anniversary isn't for me, instead it's for all of you.

Thanks for stopping by......THANK YOU for commenting....and most of all Thank You for just being plain old you, that's what makes you so special!

By the way, I have gotten several postcards/cards in the old PO Box, I'm going to work big time on that project this weekend since The Boyfriend is out of town, but keep an eye out for some exciting news about Billy & Carlos and more importantly Flo.

If you want a sneak peak check out my profile page.....

I have no way to explain this

I found this LINK on The Smoking Gun, if you're squeamish don't click it.

To Quote from TSG:

This country, as you know, is filled with the deranged. And then there's Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap). Frey, prosecutors contend, apparently is a rather demanding guy. In fact, he actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a "Contract of Wifely Expectations"--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities.

I think reading this will make each of us appreciate our spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends even more!

At The Ballet

Whenever I hear that phrase I think of the song from A Chorus Line with the same title.

Last night The Amazing Boyfriend and I went to see Matthew Bourne’s staging of Swan Lake. What an amazing performance.

The one thing I can definitely say about this show is that “It’s not your Mama’s Swan Lake”

A first when The Boyfriend suggested we go see this, I had thought it was a stage version of that Matt Damon movie The Bourne Identity, but then I quickly realized that in the movie his characters name was Jason….not Matthew, so that cleared things up rather quickly.

Last night was my first experience with the ballet and I can say it was very exciting. The show uses the original music by Tchaikovsky but is set in more modern time, although the exact time period is difficult to pinpoint. At one point in the show a cell phone rings, but then later they’re in a bar and they’re dancing like it’s the 70’s. That should give you an idea, imagine dancing disco to Swan Lake, it was very interesting.

The story is almost the same

***STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS****

Prince with overbearing mother, gets drunk at club, paparazzi there to snap pictures, sailors try to pick up Prince he declines, gets more drunk, ends up in Park next to Lake, about to hurl himself to his death when a MAGNIFICENT MALE SWAN stops him, they dance around with 15 other hot male swans, he decides not to kill himself.

Then there’s a Royal Ball and the Swan (who is now The Stranger in black with an awfully big cod piece) swoops in and starts trying to make out with the Queen (basically I could not imagine a Queen acting the way she did in front of everyone at the ball, but hey the Swan was hot). Eventually the Stranger and Prince start dancing together. The Stranger starts dancing with all the girls again, Prince has gun, tries to kill Stranger, Stranger has as well, Prince ends up killing innocent party goer. The Prince is then sent to an Insane Asylum where the Nurses dance around like Nurse Ratchet. Eventually the Prince ends up back in his bedroom where he’s having nightmares (and you think the whole thing was a dream because it’s the same as the very beginning of the show) The Swan (aka The Stranger) appears out of his bed along with the rest of his Swan cohorts. The other swans actually end up killing The Swan because of his goings on with the Prince, shortly after the Prince has a “fit” and ends up dying only to be found by his mother, but in the background you can see the Swan holding the Prince in his arms as they both ascend to heaven.

**END OF SPOILERS**

It was an amazing show, it was not a typical “ballet” at all, no tutu’s and skin tight pants (but all the Swans were topless, woof!), the costumes were beautiful as well as the set which was multifunctional yet didn’t detract from the performance. There were several little giggles in the show (if you could imagine a ballet being comedic), overall the performance was beautiful and inspiring.

I always enjoy looking at the other audience members when at a performance, especially one as controversial as this one. Next to us were two older women (probably in their late 50’s) wearing their furs and dressed to the nines, who halfway through act one whispered “I have no idea what’s going on” and then at the end of the show said “I think they took some liberties with the show.”

There were a lot of women, some lesbians thrown in there as well and more than a few men. You could easily pick out the straight men because they were the ones who looked uncomfortable before the show because they really didn’t want to be there plus they were totally beyond their comfort zone when the Prince and Swan were dancing. The remaining men in the audience were all Gurls (if you know what I mean). Just within our section alone I could have thrown a stone and hit at least 25 homo’s, and you’ve got to consider I’m not a very good throw.

So if you have an opportunity to see Matthew Bourne’s Swan Lake I highly recommend it.

If you’d like to learn more about Swan Lake check out the Wikpedia Entry

Why I Live Alone

So did anyone see this ARTICLE?

Apparently two men were arguing because there was no toilet paper in the house.....so the one room-mate got super pissed and killed his roommate with a sledge hammer and a claw hammer. The man was bludgeoned so badly that they had to identify him by his fingerprints.

I wonder if it was one-ply or two-ply they were fighting over?

Away for the weekend

Well Flo decided that it's time to fly South. She's always been a little behind the times, but that's what we love about her so much.

Since Flo needs constant attention (aka The Ankle Monitor) she's decided to take The Boyfriend and I along.

So we're off to Atlanta for the weekend to help celebrate some big birthdays (a 30, a 50, a 37, a 38 and a few more in between).

We'll take lots of pictures to share and I promise the stories will be forthcoming!

Fun with Fruit!

No, not fun with The Boyfriend and I...fun with Fruit, literally!

Who knew about this skank?

I just found out some very troubling news, I'm so distraught right now it's difficult for me to breath. Hold on for a moment while I put my head between my legs and hope that I get over this nausea.

I was reading MSNBC this morning and they had a "scoop" article about Prince and Paris, apparently that Paris Hilton skank is an Aquarius.

I want to give a big apology to all of you Faithful Aquarians that this will not bring us down! Anyway her birthday is on the 17th so really she's more Pisces than Aquarius anyway! So which one of you knew about this horrible revelation and didn't bother to tell me! Plus this bitch was born in 1981, I REMEMBER what I was doing in 1981.....gawd I'm so old......

Math 1950 - 2000

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register.

I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.)

6. Teaching Math In 2005
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.

Post Valentine Excitement

Tuesday as you may recall was St Valentine's Day, what an exciting day for all of you lovers out there.

The Boyfriend and I had an exciting evening, his brother plus girlfriend were visiting The Boyfriend's Mom so we went over to their house to celebrate Valentine's Day by having delicious Hoagies from "Heros." We then sat around and watched the Olympics, what excitement!

Actually we did have a good time and The Boyfriend and I had decided that we weren't getting into all of that Valentine's Day stuff because we show our love for each other every day and don't need a stinking Hallmark Holiday to remind us. I feel the same way about Christmas actually!

But something exciting did happen on our trip to The Boyfriend's Mom's house....my cell phone rang, the number displayed was one of the strangest I'd seen....letters, numbers and symbols, I almost didn't answer it because it was so strange but thank goodness I did, because it was NickleAnnie.

She was so sweet (and shy mind you) that we talked all the way to Grandma's House. We talked about the weather (how cold it is in the middle of Canada) and how she hates driving because of the traffic (we were literally sitting in traffic the whole time we were on the phone so she doesn't know what traffic really is).

So if anyone else wants to call me and tell me all about their exciting lives, let me know I'll send you my phone number.

If you've been reading around the blogs, as I'm sure you are apt to do, I bet you saw an interesting post over at Andi's where she announced her year of Travel. I am so lucky to be her first visit of the year. Perhaps after they visit The Boyfriend and I they may change their minds and decide to not travel this year!

I know I still owe you stories about the birthday, I'm writing them up and I'll dole them out like a cheap romance novel! They're coming, I promise!

Where's your cell tower at?

Ever want to know where the closest cell tower is?

Check out this cool site:

http://www.cellreception.com/

Sorry it only works in the US : -(

I'm so embarrassed

What started out as a joke has somehow gotten more than 600 hits in a week! Oh God, why do I do these things?

Fo Shizzle

Tranzliate this Shiznit to Jive! Click the Spinn'n Rim Beotch!

Well at least we know Cheney won't ever work for the Mafia

Apparently our esteemed Vice President shot a man a man on Saturday under the guise of "quail hunting"

I wonder how much press this will end up getting? For some reason I think it's going to get swept under the carpet.

Wouldn't it be funny if this was Cheney's initiation into the Mafia?!? He most certainly failed, again, but then what's new really?

Here's a linky

Flo got some culture

A couple of friends
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

No, not the type of culture you get from a doctor, real culture and not like the strip bar kind either.

Flo had the chance to go see an amazing production at the Steppenwolf Theater today with her friend "The Governor".

She ran into a couple of local actors and they insisted that they have their photos taken with Flo.

Check out her latest Adventure

Shall We Play A Game?

It's time to play a game, dontcha think?

And this is an easy one that you all can play along with, here are the rules:

1. Grab the nearest book
2. Open the book to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5,6,7) on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it. Just grab what is closest. No cheating.

Large numbers of troops were quartered in vacatn buildings many of the finest mansion. ("Oh, the houses of New York, if you coudl see the insides of them!" grieved another resident.) King's College, west of the Commons, one of the largest, handsomest buildings in town, had been taken over as an army hospital, once the library books were removed, lest the soliders burn them for fuel.

1776 - David McCullough

Mr. Clean - A Review

Mr. Clean
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Last week I was perusing my local Family Dollar store checking out the bargains.

Everyone loves a bargain, remember my incident when I was buying halloween gear?

Well I found this Mr. Clean Bathroom Cleaning Kit on sale, I'm a sucker for a gadget so I picked it up.

There are two types of "heads" that come with it. One that's pre-moistened for the sink, toilet, tiles, etc and another that is dry but has a scrubber on it and soap that's water activated for cleaning the tub/shower.

Well out of the two, the one that had the little scrubby stuff on it for the shower was much better than the pre-moistened one.

The thing has a head shaped like a diamond so it was great for getting in the corners, and it has a long and sturdy handle so scrubbing the corner of the tub and the tile was very easy. Much better than my normal, on my hands and knees type of scrubbing.

The premoistened one was ok for the sink and the faucet but overall it was too big and too wet...it left an icky film after it dried. It was too big to get all in between the faucet and handles easily.

Will I buy the refills? Well I'll buy the scrubby ones for the tub because it was a lot easier than my normal way of doing it.....but I doubt I'll buy the refills for the pre-moistened ones, one of the reasons was I still had to go over the sink with a paper towel to pick up what the cloth just pushed around instead of picking up.

Also, it needs it's own "storage space" because the handle is about 2 foot long folded and the head is pretty good size so if you have the room go for it! Otherwise if you're strapped for space I would just stick with a can of scrubbing bubbles!

No Committment for Barbie

Well, now that Ken has gotten a Metrosexual Makeover it's clearly obvious that Barbie is NEVER going to get a committment from him.

He'll probably be asking for alimony and taking her Corvette, becuase you know there's nothing more a "metrosexual" likes than a Pink Corvette.

Actually, The Boys are all in a titter because now that they see the "new and improved" Ken they want to get a little piece of the action. I'm afraid though that Billy and Carlos may be "a little too big" for Ken, if you know what I mean!

Almost Famous

Remember way back when Ms. Mac's bed was featured in an advertisement? (Ms. Mac I tried to find the post so I could make a linky for it but I can't find it, send it to me and I'll update this)

Well she's not alone...well I know she's not alone....but a few months ago I was aproached via email from a person in LA who was looking at one of my pictures on Flickr that she wanted to use in her "company newsletter."

At first I was a bit skeptical and afraid that I was going to end up in some pornography magazine (A girl can wish can't he?).

I gave her permission and just asked that I get a copy of the final product so I can make sure that my good name is still untarnished (collective laugh goes here).

This morning I opened my email and what did I get but a thank you note and a link to the newsletter.

**UPDATE** It appears as though blogger didn't post my entire post for some reason so here's the rest of it if I can remember.

Of course I'm all the way at the end of the newsletter under 8: Things to do in your spare time but then at least I am at the end which means I'll be the one they remember right.

I mean when was the last time you went to a concert and remembered who the opening act was?

Brokeback Shopping List

Grocery Lists for Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist, Summer, 1963

WEEK ONE
• Beans
• Bacon
• Coffee
• Whiskey

WEEK TWO
• Beans
• Ham
• Coffee
• Whiskey

WEEK THREE
• Beans al fresca
• Thin-sliced Bacon
• Hazelnut Coffee
• Skyy vodka & Tanqueray gin
• K-Y gel

WEEK FOUR
• Beans en salade
• Pancetta
• Coffee (espresso grind)
• 5-6 bottles best Chardonnay
• 2 tubes K-Y gel

WEEK FIVE
• Fresh Fava beans
• Jasmine rice
• Prosciutto, approx. 8 ounces, thinly sliced
• Medallions of veal
• Porcini mushrooms
• 1/2 pint of heavy whipping cream
• 1 Cub Scout uniform, size 42 long
• 5-6 bottles French Bordeaux (Estate Reserve)
• 1 extra large bottle Astro-glide

WEEK SIX
• Yukon Gold potatoes
• Heavy whipping cream
• Asparagus (very thin)
• Organic Eggs
• Spanish Lemons
• Gruyere cheese (well aged)
• Crushed Walnuts
• Arugula
• Clarified Butter
• Extra Virgin Olive oil
• Pure Balsamic vinegar
• 6 yards white silk organdy
• 6 yards pale ivory taffeta
• 3 Cases of Dom Perignon Masters Reserve
and one large can of Crisco

A Throuple?

A Throuple?
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

The Amazing Andi sent THREE Cards for my birthday. I think she knew something was going on, don't you?

Because it appears as though Billy & Carlos have found a friend and after this weekend it's offical they're a Throuple!

The Boy, as he is currently known by, was so excited that he had already received fan mail had to share by taking off his shirt and making a muscle for all the girls.

He told the boys on Friday night that he was straight, but by Saturday Night he was ready to go out to the bars with his glowstick and dance with his arms up in the air.

But seriously, Billy & Carlos do have a new friend, care of Olivia who sent it in my birthday box! As of now, he doesn't have a name, other than Boy, but I don't think that's gonna stick for long.

What should we name the new boy?

Screwed on a Sunday Night

Well my entire Sunday night has been screwed!

Typically I like to start to "wind down" from the weekend on Sunday evening, watch a little TV, relax and get ready for the start of the work week.

I always start out by watching America's Funniest Home Videos, or to those of you in the "know" AFV.

But tonight I tuned my TV to the local ABC channel this evening and there's some stupid football game on or something. Whoever scheduled this at ABC should really be hung out to dry....Football instead of AFV? WTF were they thinking?

If one team gets more baskets than the other does the game end sooner? Perhaps they'll run AFV after this thing? Keep your fingers crossed for me.

The Boys of Dim Sum

The Boys of Dim Sum
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Some of my friends who made a cold trek to Chinatown for some dim sum on a Saturday afternoon.

Click on the pic to see who everyone is.

Flo and Friends

Kin
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Check out Flo's latest adventure....a trip to Chinatown for dim sum!

Friday night in the Suburbs

All I can say now is we went HERE and HERE last night, and do I have stories for you. But unfortunately I'm getting ready to go HERE for some of THIS to start celebrating THIS which happens on Monday.

I promise to take lots of pictures and I'll have more than enough stories to share.

Here's one picture we took last evening:

Not one....Not two....but THREE

But THREE
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Did the Astounding Andi know something that I didn't know?

Just yesterday the boys were joined by their new team-mate (a wonderful present from Olivia), so did Andi have an inkling of what was going to happen so she wanted to make sure all the boys got a card.

When the Postman handed me the cards he gave me a rather stern warning that "these cards are not to be opened before February 6th." Since I'm not one to mess with the postman I'll have to save these until Monday when the official deadline has passed.

The Boys get a card AND a new friend

A New Friend
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

Just look at those abs on that boy!

The astounding Olivia sent the boys a Birthday card, a new friend and a whole bunch of other things.

They were amazed at the treasure trove of things included in the box, what a great birthday present.

But the boys were most excited about their new friend (who doesn't have a name yet, I'm taking suggestions).

I left the boys standing on the dining room table last night in this position and I was a little freaked out when I woke up and the new boy was on his back with Carlos on top of him and Billy standing by with a bottle of KY in his hand.

Those crazy boys! I think they're going to get along great, because the new guy is "totally" flexible! Oh the positions they'll try.

I knew this day would come

But I had never anticipated that it would come so soon....so quickly after it had started.

In the 14 months that I've known you, you have become my buddy, my pal, my constant companion. You were always by my side, ready to go when I was regardless of what you were doing.

You've never complained, well there was that one time but I think in the end it really was my fault so I can't lay all of the blame on you. I've bought you things, lots of things, and I've asked you to carry a lot for me, all the time you never complain.

Whatever I asked of you, you gave me willingly and freely never questioned my motives or my feelings you're wonderful like that.

So why was it when I asked you to carry some more things for me you replied "NO, I won't do it any longer." You made me cry, well not really but you really made me take stock of things. You made me look at things that were important and necessary.

But I will tell you this, even though you are "full" you'll always be my friend, even though you make me make choices about what I want around, I think you're worth it.

Thank you my iPod - even though your 40gigs are full!

***UPDATE*** I currently have 9141 songs on my iPod. According to iTunes I have almost 26 days worth of music, that's 624 hours. Now considering that I listen to my iPod about 7 hours a day it would take me more than 89 days to listen to each and every song. I've got everything from Reggae to Showtunes to Pop to Disco to Rock to Hip-Hop, I'm a music whore, if it's got a beat I'll listen to it.