Trying to thwart the telemarketer

About a year ago I got rid of Caller ID.

Okay, now that you've picked your teeth up off the floor, it's true. I've been using my home phone less and less because I have a good cell phone plan. The only reason I have a landline is so that I can have DSL connection.

I have a friend who is similar to me, only reason he has a phone line is because of the building intercom, and he told me his bill was like $12 a month. He had literally gotten rid of everything on his phone, caller id, forwarding, voicemail, blah blah blah.

So I did the same thing, and yeah my phone bill is like $12, and I know if someone is calling me on there it's either my mother or a telemarketer.

It's fun not having caller id, it's sort of like a game. The phone rings, you run through a quick list of people in your head, who could it be? When you answer there's that game where you have to recognize the voice by them only saying your name. It's actually quite fun when you think about it, very similar to Clue. It was My Mother calling from her Front Porch, with gossip about the neighbors.

And there are those times when you pick up the phone, say hello and there’s just dead silence. That’s when you know the real game is gonna start, because it’s a telemarketer. You compose yourself and in your best foreign accent you say “HHHHHHHEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOO?” and make your voice go up really high in the end.

75% of the time the telemarketer will hang up on your
15% of the time they’ll say hello but then almost immediately
10% of the time, they’ll actually talk to you.

For those 10% of the calls, I decided I was going to speak in really bad Spanish, hey it’s fun. I get to practice and the telemarketer has a story to tell his co-workers.

So now, every time I know it’s a telemarketer, I’ll get on my best Papi accent and try to carry on a conversation with them.

That was fun, until I started getting telemarketing calls in Spanish.

DAMN!