Part II of the Kong Miniseries was completed this evening.
Tonight they landed on the island and met the natives. I must say the natives in this version are MUCH scarier than the original.
They got the ship unstuck from the rocks, but at the same time Ann was abducted by the natives and taken back to the island.
That contraption they use to "place" her in the jungle was very interesting. Again, those natives are really scary!
Kong is pretty cool, the special effects are amazing. Some of them appear "cheesy" on the small screen, I'm sure they were very fluid on the big screen, it's just you can tell what's real and what's not.
Jackson really likes his action scenes doesn't he? There was one scene remeniscient of Romancing the Stone (which I wonder was on purpose) and the scene with the dinosaurs went on a little long.....actually it was almost like a Mad TV skit, it was really good at 4 minutes but after 9 minutes it's not fun anymore.
So I've only got 70 minutes to go, I think I'm going to have to wait until Sunday to finish it off. God I hope I don't forget that it's on, I hate investing all that time in a miniseries and then miss the last episode.
Friday, March 31, 2006
King Kong - Miniseries, Part One
I bought the new King Kong yesterday at the Red Dot Boutique.
If there's a movie I want to own, I always buy it the week it comes out. The prices are usually in the $15-17 range the first week (so they can have HIGH sales) and then the following week it goes up to MSRP, so if I want it, I get it ASAP so I don't have to pay MSRP.
Since I knew the new version was coming out, I prefaced it by watching the original King Kong over the weekend. If you have never seen the original you really need to, the special effects and the things they did were totally innovative and amazing for that period (1933). Today of course it looks cheesy and old fashioned, but they were really on the cutting edge of cinema technology back then.
So, the new version of Kong is 181 minutes long (that's 3 hours 1 minute) compared to the original that was 100 minutes (1 hour 40 minutes) so how did they double the movie you ask?
Well, since this new version is so long I'm watching it as a mini-series, I watched 1 hour last night and got up to the point where they find the island. Tonight is hour 2 and then tomorrow I'll finish it off with the final hour.
I know you probably think I'm crazy, but to sit and watch a 3-hour movie all at once is just beyond me at this time, I have got to be SO INTO it that I wouldn't mind the time, but I'm not that "into" Kong but I still want to watch it.
Has anyone else seen this new version and if you have, did you see the original to compare it to?
If there's a movie I want to own, I always buy it the week it comes out. The prices are usually in the $15-17 range the first week (so they can have HIGH sales) and then the following week it goes up to MSRP, so if I want it, I get it ASAP so I don't have to pay MSRP.
Since I knew the new version was coming out, I prefaced it by watching the original King Kong over the weekend. If you have never seen the original you really need to, the special effects and the things they did were totally innovative and amazing for that period (1933). Today of course it looks cheesy and old fashioned, but they were really on the cutting edge of cinema technology back then.
So, the new version of Kong is 181 minutes long (that's 3 hours 1 minute) compared to the original that was 100 minutes (1 hour 40 minutes) so how did they double the movie you ask?
Well, since this new version is so long I'm watching it as a mini-series, I watched 1 hour last night and got up to the point where they find the island. Tonight is hour 2 and then tomorrow I'll finish it off with the final hour.
I know you probably think I'm crazy, but to sit and watch a 3-hour movie all at once is just beyond me at this time, I have got to be SO INTO it that I wouldn't mind the time, but I'm not that "into" Kong but I still want to watch it.
Has anyone else seen this new version and if you have, did you see the original to compare it to?
Potentially versus Realistically
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a
heartbeat, are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The boy replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."
The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a
heartbeat, are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
The boy replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."
Thursday, March 30, 2006
American Inventor
Has anyone seen this show?
I keep missing it because I'm flipping channels on Thursday night and I always miss it. I caught the last 1/2 hour of the program tonight.
What is up with that Doug guy....he is THE MOST ANNOYING person I've ever seen.
This show is produced by Simon Cowell so I sort of expect a snarky kind of opinion but that Doug guy is the biggest "I think I know-it-all" I have ever seen. In fact on the program they did a quick 60 second "Mr. Know-it-all" replay of everytime he said "I know about this...." I know about that....
At least Simon has constructive criticism (or just out right advice) but this guy is just annoying in the bad kind of way.
Anyone else watch this show?
I keep missing it because I'm flipping channels on Thursday night and I always miss it. I caught the last 1/2 hour of the program tonight.
What is up with that Doug guy....he is THE MOST ANNOYING person I've ever seen.
This show is produced by Simon Cowell so I sort of expect a snarky kind of opinion but that Doug guy is the biggest "I think I know-it-all" I have ever seen. In fact on the program they did a quick 60 second "Mr. Know-it-all" replay of everytime he said "I know about this...." I know about that....
At least Simon has constructive criticism (or just out right advice) but this guy is just annoying in the bad kind of way.
Anyone else watch this show?
I can't believe it
6:59 PM CST - Britney Spears is on Will & Grace.
I've got to watch this to see how bad she is. I'll report back in 30 minutes!
7:13 PM CST - Oh my God Britney is so BAD!!!! Wanda Sykes is FABULOUS!
7:27 PM CST - Thank God there's only two commercial breaks!
Britney was terrible...I couldn't figure out if she was trying to be a dumb blonde or a dumb Southerner? She had this really bad accent (which I think is her real voice) but she was trying to act all like a stupid blonde. She had one good line where she "comes out" to Jack, but what would have been funnier is if she would have tried to act when she delivered her line but I know that's a lot to ask for.
Wanda Sykes on the other hand I think is wonderfu. She is one of the best "straight man" Comedians, especially up against Karen...she was the best part of the show. I was hoping she'd be a regular but one time only.
You know I'm sorta glad that this is the last season for W&G, I don't think it's as funny as it used to be, which is too bad. It's still a good show but it's really Jack & Karen not Will & Grace.
I've got to watch this to see how bad she is. I'll report back in 30 minutes!
7:13 PM CST - Oh my God Britney is so BAD!!!! Wanda Sykes is FABULOUS!
7:27 PM CST - Thank God there's only two commercial breaks!
Britney was terrible...I couldn't figure out if she was trying to be a dumb blonde or a dumb Southerner? She had this really bad accent (which I think is her real voice) but she was trying to act all like a stupid blonde. She had one good line where she "comes out" to Jack, but what would have been funnier is if she would have tried to act when she delivered her line but I know that's a lot to ask for.
Wanda Sykes on the other hand I think is wonderfu. She is one of the best "straight man" Comedians, especially up against Karen...she was the best part of the show. I was hoping she'd be a regular but one time only.
You know I'm sorta glad that this is the last season for W&G, I don't think it's as funny as it used to be, which is too bad. It's still a good show but it's really Jack & Karen not Will & Grace.
Mother upset about Porn
LINK
Why is it that Mothers are always the ones who are "upset about porn" why don't we hear about Fathers that are upset about porn? I guess it's one of those great mysteries of life that we'll never quite figure out will we?
So this story is quite amusing...basically a Mother who runs a home where the focus is on faith and morals shopped at the biggest Sin City in the world - Wal-Mart! While she was there she bought a DVD player and Bambi II for her children to watch.
When she got that box home she opened it up and plugged it into her TV...but low and behold Bambi II wasn't in the player instead it was "Bambi Does the Hunter" Alas, how could anyone let this happen...a DVD player was shipped with a porn DVD in the player already.....why don't things like that happen to me? Do you know how expensive porn is? It's a helluva lot more expensive than Bambi II I'll tell ya.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the story:
- A Cleveland area mother is outraged and offended (poor thing, she's offended, but I bet she lets her kids watch night time TV, it's a good thing that her neighbors grandchildren weren't visiting grandma otherwise they may have been next to a house filled with porn)
- she's now forced to answer questions she was not ready to answer because her children saw things they were too young to see. (Funny they don't tell you that the kids are 12, 14 and 17)
- "I don't even want to tell you what I saw," (so how could she file a report if she couldn't describe what she saw?)
- All three of her children, saw the first few seconds of the DVD before she lunged for the player to turn it off. Thirteen-year-old Taylor watched sex acts she didn't even know about. (Apparently 13 year old Taylor has been getting around if she knows ANY sex acts, perhaps now she'll be able to add a few things to her repertoire)
- said Taylor. "I saw body parts I've never seen before." (Wait, I thought the kids only watched a few seconds of it? If that's how it was, how did she see things she'd never seen before?)
- the wrong purchase, the Mother says, stole her children's innocence. (Uhm, hello it wasn't that DVD it was that X-Box and Cable that stole it a long time ago).
- Bettis is now exploring her legal options and also plans to have her daughters see a counselor. (So even though she has a home where the focus is on values and morals it's ok to sue the hell out of somebody because we all know that takes morals. I hope she gets a really good lawyer so that he can teach her about morals in the real world. She's probably messing up her kids even more by sending them to a counselor Taylor - "Well doctor, my mom bought this DVD player at Wal-Mart and I saw these things that I didn't understand, can you show me how it's humanly possible for me to get into those positions (even though I only saw a few seconds of the movie)? Can't you see her friends ridiculing her saying "Taylor's going to a shrink cuz she saw porn)
Why is it that Mothers are always the ones who are "upset about porn" why don't we hear about Fathers that are upset about porn? I guess it's one of those great mysteries of life that we'll never quite figure out will we?
So this story is quite amusing...basically a Mother who runs a home where the focus is on faith and morals shopped at the biggest Sin City in the world - Wal-Mart! While she was there she bought a DVD player and Bambi II for her children to watch.
When she got that box home she opened it up and plugged it into her TV...but low and behold Bambi II wasn't in the player instead it was "Bambi Does the Hunter" Alas, how could anyone let this happen...a DVD player was shipped with a porn DVD in the player already.....why don't things like that happen to me? Do you know how expensive porn is? It's a helluva lot more expensive than Bambi II I'll tell ya.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from the story:
- A Cleveland area mother is outraged and offended (poor thing, she's offended, but I bet she lets her kids watch night time TV, it's a good thing that her neighbors grandchildren weren't visiting grandma otherwise they may have been next to a house filled with porn)
- she's now forced to answer questions she was not ready to answer because her children saw things they were too young to see. (Funny they don't tell you that the kids are 12, 14 and 17)
- "I don't even want to tell you what I saw," (so how could she file a report if she couldn't describe what she saw?)
- All three of her children, saw the first few seconds of the DVD before she lunged for the player to turn it off. Thirteen-year-old Taylor watched sex acts she didn't even know about. (Apparently 13 year old Taylor has been getting around if she knows ANY sex acts, perhaps now she'll be able to add a few things to her repertoire)
- said Taylor. "I saw body parts I've never seen before." (Wait, I thought the kids only watched a few seconds of it? If that's how it was, how did she see things she'd never seen before?)
- the wrong purchase, the Mother says, stole her children's innocence. (Uhm, hello it wasn't that DVD it was that X-Box and Cable that stole it a long time ago).
- Bettis is now exploring her legal options and also plans to have her daughters see a counselor. (So even though she has a home where the focus is on values and morals it's ok to sue the hell out of somebody because we all know that takes morals. I hope she gets a really good lawyer so that he can teach her about morals in the real world. She's probably messing up her kids even more by sending them to a counselor Taylor - "Well doctor, my mom bought this DVD player at Wal-Mart and I saw these things that I didn't understand, can you show me how it's humanly possible for me to get into those positions (even though I only saw a few seconds of the movie)? Can't you see her friends ridiculing her saying "Taylor's going to a shrink cuz she saw porn)
My House Smells Like 7-Up, Part II
As you may remember from this post where I regaled you with tales of my proclivity for fruity incense and the reason why I burned my last stick.
One time I went over to the Walgreens and bought incense, I know I know why would I ever think of doing that. Walgreens is the place where you buy the Jesus and Mary Candles, you don’t buy incense there.
To buy good incense you have to go to a “head shop” Now unlike when I didn’t know why the called the John “The Head” I do know why they call it a head shop……oh wait, no I don’t…anyone know why they call the place where you go to buy stuff to smoke “tobacco” is called a Head Shop?
I think Head Shops are hilarious, I mean everyone in the world knows why you would be buying one of those little vials and spoon, it is most definitely not because you’re planning on going to your daughters Tea Party, yet they won’t admit what they’re selling.
Well legally, they “can’t” admit what they’re selling because if they did that then they would be promoting an illegal drug and goodness knows no one would ever do that…right? So instead they sell rolling papers and pipes and glass pipes and bongs and vapo’s along with poppers and lube and condoms and sometimes adult oriented material such as videos and or “toys” but the whole time they’re saying the devices can only be used to smoke tobacco.
When we were in Columbus we went to this Head/Video/Clothing/Magazine Store and they had signs up that said “If you say any of the following words you will be escorted from the store: coke spoon, bong, pot…..”and went on to list the words that were on the “banned” list,
It was too funny because I could see some queen going, “Now all you do is take that big bud of weed that you got, you know that really good shit you got from Hawaii and how it made us all munchy and we ate that whole box of corn chips, well what you do is you take that big old bud, oh yeah bud, yeah you know I really prefer smoking pot to drinking because all that beer is just empty calories and that’s just bullshit man…bullshit…but so you take that big old bud and you put in here and you turn this and dude out rolls the biggest fattest doobie you’ve ever seen.” So they’ve got to tell people the words they can and cannot use.
But to really get some good flavors of incense you have to go to a Head Shop, and the only place to really do that is down on Belmont, there have got to be 4 Head Shops within a 2 block area down there, so you know they got some good shit going on.
So Sunday I jumped on the train and went down to pick up some new scent-sations! There’s one store I really like, but I can never quite remember where it is along the “strip” of stores so as I was looking for that one I found another one that looked fairly new.
Of course they had the whole set of accoutrements like any good Head Shop so I headed over to the incense booth…..but somehow got sidetracked by the Lighters.
I don’t smoke but I LOVE lighters I mean I LOVE LIGHTERS, now not the plain lighters like Bic but the “unique lighters” Whenever I see a really different or unusual lighter I have to really contemplate buying it. In fact I love lighters so much that I actually have a box that is filled with them. The Boyfriend smokes so sometimes I like to be all suave and pull out a lighter to spark his cigarette for him so I like to have a lighter around.
Well I didn’t find a light but I found the coolest gadget, it’s called the “Lighter Leash” it basically is one of those retractable “badge” holders that you clip to your belt and pull out your badge when you need it and then snaps back to it’s place on your belt, it’s one of those but it’s got this rubber grommet on the end that slips over the end of a Bic Lighter so you can be all Suave in the bar and pull up your lighter and let it drop back to your belt clip…I’m so excited I can’t wait to try it out.
Well geez this has gone a little long, I guess I’ll have to make this a Three Poster!
One time I went over to the Walgreens and bought incense, I know I know why would I ever think of doing that. Walgreens is the place where you buy the Jesus and Mary Candles, you don’t buy incense there.
To buy good incense you have to go to a “head shop” Now unlike when I didn’t know why the called the John “The Head” I do know why they call it a head shop……oh wait, no I don’t…anyone know why they call the place where you go to buy stuff to smoke “tobacco” is called a Head Shop?
I think Head Shops are hilarious, I mean everyone in the world knows why you would be buying one of those little vials and spoon, it is most definitely not because you’re planning on going to your daughters Tea Party, yet they won’t admit what they’re selling.
Well legally, they “can’t” admit what they’re selling because if they did that then they would be promoting an illegal drug and goodness knows no one would ever do that…right? So instead they sell rolling papers and pipes and glass pipes and bongs and vapo’s along with poppers and lube and condoms and sometimes adult oriented material such as videos and or “toys” but the whole time they’re saying the devices can only be used to smoke tobacco.
When we were in Columbus we went to this Head/Video/Clothing/Magazine Store and they had signs up that said “If you say any of the following words you will be escorted from the store: coke spoon, bong, pot…..”and went on to list the words that were on the “banned” list,
It was too funny because I could see some queen going, “Now all you do is take that big bud of weed that you got, you know that really good shit you got from Hawaii and how it made us all munchy and we ate that whole box of corn chips, well what you do is you take that big old bud, oh yeah bud, yeah you know I really prefer smoking pot to drinking because all that beer is just empty calories and that’s just bullshit man…bullshit…but so you take that big old bud and you put in here and you turn this and dude out rolls the biggest fattest doobie you’ve ever seen.” So they’ve got to tell people the words they can and cannot use.
But to really get some good flavors of incense you have to go to a Head Shop, and the only place to really do that is down on Belmont, there have got to be 4 Head Shops within a 2 block area down there, so you know they got some good shit going on.
So Sunday I jumped on the train and went down to pick up some new scent-sations! There’s one store I really like, but I can never quite remember where it is along the “strip” of stores so as I was looking for that one I found another one that looked fairly new.
Of course they had the whole set of accoutrements like any good Head Shop so I headed over to the incense booth…..but somehow got sidetracked by the Lighters.
I don’t smoke but I LOVE lighters I mean I LOVE LIGHTERS, now not the plain lighters like Bic but the “unique lighters” Whenever I see a really different or unusual lighter I have to really contemplate buying it. In fact I love lighters so much that I actually have a box that is filled with them. The Boyfriend smokes so sometimes I like to be all suave and pull out a lighter to spark his cigarette for him so I like to have a lighter around.
Well I didn’t find a light but I found the coolest gadget, it’s called the “Lighter Leash” it basically is one of those retractable “badge” holders that you clip to your belt and pull out your badge when you need it and then snaps back to it’s place on your belt, it’s one of those but it’s got this rubber grommet on the end that slips over the end of a Bic Lighter so you can be all Suave in the bar and pull up your lighter and let it drop back to your belt clip…I’m so excited I can’t wait to try it out.
Well geez this has gone a little long, I guess I’ll have to make this a Three Poster!
How do I tell my parents?
Oh my god, it's terrible, I'm afraid that my parents will dis-own me, I don't know what to do.
I mean they were OK with the whole gay thing, but I think they'll wig out a little bit when I tell them that I'm a Libertarian.
Find out what you are by taking this QUIZ
Although I think the quiz is a little biased because it claims to be the "smallest political quiz" which can't really be a good thing can it?
What are you?
I mean they were OK with the whole gay thing, but I think they'll wig out a little bit when I tell them that I'm a Libertarian.
Find out what you are by taking this QUIZ
Although I think the quiz is a little biased because it claims to be the "smallest political quiz" which can't really be a good thing can it?
What are you?
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
B-L-I-N-G-O
There was a farmer had a dog and Blingo was his name-o, B-LI-N-G-O, B-LI-N-G -O, B-LI-N-G-O and Blingo was his nameo.
Those are the words right?
I found this really cool site called Blingo and it's a search engine...please continue reading, don't stop!
You can win things when you use Blingo, really you can! All you have to do is register and then use Blingo to search, actually they use Google but by going through Blingo you have the chance of winning everything from movie tickets to iTunes Gift Certificates all the way up to even iPod Nano's!
Can you believe something free and you don't have to complete 42 tasks to get your free $500 worth of Soda!
Plus there are a couple of cool things that separate this from the other cheesy stuff on the Interweb, here's how it works:
1. We pick a bunch of random winning times.
2. Search at the right time and you win, instantly. No registration is required.
3. Then tell us where to send the prize.
Clicking search results or sponsored links does not increase your chances of winning, and
you're limited to 10 qualifying searches per day. The best way to win on Blingo is just to use it
whenever you want to search the web.
Also, if you put a link on your blog and have friends sign up under you.....if you win, THEY WIN! So how cool is that.....one of your friends signs up, they win a prize and you win the exact same thing, not something lame like a free paperback, you win the same thing they did.
So if you would like to become a Friend of Blingo (not be to confused with the friends of Bill W) then click on this button to be taken to the magical screen:
Those are the words right?
I found this really cool site called Blingo and it's a search engine...please continue reading, don't stop!
You can win things when you use Blingo, really you can! All you have to do is register and then use Blingo to search, actually they use Google but by going through Blingo you have the chance of winning everything from movie tickets to iTunes Gift Certificates all the way up to even iPod Nano's!
Can you believe something free and you don't have to complete 42 tasks to get your free $500 worth of Soda!
Plus there are a couple of cool things that separate this from the other cheesy stuff on the Interweb, here's how it works:
1. We pick a bunch of random winning times.
2. Search at the right time and you win, instantly. No registration is required.
3. Then tell us where to send the prize.
Clicking search results or sponsored links does not increase your chances of winning, and
you're limited to 10 qualifying searches per day. The best way to win on Blingo is just to use it
whenever you want to search the web.
Also, if you put a link on your blog and have friends sign up under you.....if you win, THEY WIN! So how cool is that.....one of your friends signs up, they win a prize and you win the exact same thing, not something lame like a free paperback, you win the same thing they did.
So if you would like to become a Friend of Blingo (not be to confused with the friends of Bill W) then click on this button to be taken to the magical screen:
The Tell All Personality Test
This was stolen from Neal. You should check him out, he's living at the South Pole!
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
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personality tests by similarminds.com
Monday, March 27, 2006
Monday Night TV
I look forward to Monday night with both excitement and dread. Excitement because it’s a great TV night!
There’s the King of Queens which is still funny after all this time, although I sort of watch it through the corner of my eye instead of full on, it’s just sort of on in the background.
But at the same time is Wife Swap – I love watching dysfunctional families get more dysfunctional. And now there’s that whole Deal or No Deal, what’s a boy to watch?
Well actually I forgot about Deal/No Deal and Wife Swap and instead finished up a few projects I had going on here. I caught the middle/end of “How I met your mother” that show is interesting but I’m afraid to invest any time in it that they’ll cancel it without notice and you’ll never really know who the kids mother is! So I try not to watch that so I don’t get disappointed down the road.
Then there’s Two and a Half Men….I know a lot of people don’t like that show, but I think it’s funny. Charlie Sheen is a great comedic actor, he’s such a great “straight man” to John Cryer’s psycho.
But the real drama comes at 9:00 Central (10:00 Eastern) it’s now the biggest choice of the evening there’s Medium on Channel 5 or CSI: Miami on Channel 2…what to watch what to watch.
I LOVE Medium. I think that Patricia Arquette is a great TV Actress and does a good job of portraying a psychic, I love the stories and the background and the psychic stuff….but at the same time there’s CSI that satisfies the inner geek in me.
The geek that needs to see the gadgets and see the recreations….what to watch…what to watch…..
Well if I planned it right, which I never do, I watch Medium for the first half of the season and then watch CSI for the second half when Medium is on re-runs. If it works out right when it’s a re-run for Medium since I haven’t been watching CSI it’s new for me!
So what are you watching on TV tonight?
There’s the King of Queens which is still funny after all this time, although I sort of watch it through the corner of my eye instead of full on, it’s just sort of on in the background.
But at the same time is Wife Swap – I love watching dysfunctional families get more dysfunctional. And now there’s that whole Deal or No Deal, what’s a boy to watch?
Well actually I forgot about Deal/No Deal and Wife Swap and instead finished up a few projects I had going on here. I caught the middle/end of “How I met your mother” that show is interesting but I’m afraid to invest any time in it that they’ll cancel it without notice and you’ll never really know who the kids mother is! So I try not to watch that so I don’t get disappointed down the road.
Then there’s Two and a Half Men….I know a lot of people don’t like that show, but I think it’s funny. Charlie Sheen is a great comedic actor, he’s such a great “straight man” to John Cryer’s psycho.
But the real drama comes at 9:00 Central (10:00 Eastern) it’s now the biggest choice of the evening there’s Medium on Channel 5 or CSI: Miami on Channel 2…what to watch what to watch.
I LOVE Medium. I think that Patricia Arquette is a great TV Actress and does a good job of portraying a psychic, I love the stories and the background and the psychic stuff….but at the same time there’s CSI that satisfies the inner geek in me.
The geek that needs to see the gadgets and see the recreations….what to watch…what to watch…..
Well if I planned it right, which I never do, I watch Medium for the first half of the season and then watch CSI for the second half when Medium is on re-runs. If it works out right when it’s a re-run for Medium since I haven’t been watching CSI it’s new for me!
So what are you watching on TV tonight?
My House Smells like 7-Up, Part I
This is a Two Part posting because it was too long for one, I know you'll get bored and stop reading (I would).
I burned my last stick of incense on Friday night……so I had to go replenish my stock.
Incense, you’re thinking….people still burn that? Yes it’s actually very popular still. But I need to qualify that I’m not into all of the hippie incense that is out there, I like the fruity (go ahead laugh) and clean smelling type. For example there are several types of incense that I will never purchase nor EVER burn in my house, Patchouli is the one at the TOP of the list….oh my god, patchouli makes me gag, literally. If you want to make Michael puke make him smell hot tar, licorice or patchouli any will have the desired effect you’re seeking.
I’m not into the “woody” or really strong scents like frankincense, myrrh, or sandalwood all way too strong for me. See herein lies the problem, The Boyfriend likes those scents, his favorite is nag champa which whenever he asks me to smell I blow OUT my nose and go “oh, that’s a little strong”
The good thing though is we’re not intense incense people, you know the kind….like they’re running a Buddhist temple in their home and it’s always smoky to give you that “just prayed” feeling. We’ll burn incense every now and again…..I mean it’s been at least 9 months since I last went and stocked up (and that was only 20 sticks) so as you can see we don’t burn much.
Alas, I burned my last stick this past Friday night when my friend Chris came over to do some Tarot readings for me. He has been taking a class to learn how to read and he was looking for “willing participants” to do readings for. I said sure come on over!
So I figured I had to set the mood so I got the smoke machine out of the closet, lit a couple tea lights and lit my last stick of incense --- strawberry.
Well Chris came over and all I can say is that his readings were right on! I know a little bit about Tarot…I used to have a set of cards and I’ve got a few books, I know the basic layouts but I never really “learned” everything that a card stood for, all the hidden meanings, especially when it was upside down…it’s all too much.
We did several readings, The Celtic (or Cross), the Tree of Life (but he called it something else), a Past/Present/Future one, and one called Blind Spot. All I will reveal is that the cards were right on about 80% of the time.
Now I know that Tarot cards are just like horoscopes: there’s no way they can write one horoscope that is going to cover every person under that sign so they’re vague, short and give so many cross signals that you can never tell if it’s right or not. So based on that I take Tarot readings with a grain of salt. But really the cards were on, more so than I wanted to admit to my friend, but since I know my fair share about it I could do some kind of interpretation of my own.
He taught me a few things that I didn’t know…like Cups always represent Emotion, Wands represent your Inner Core, Swords represent your Power and Pentacles represent our Intellect.
The one thing that really surprised me were the preponderance of cups…very strange I must say.
If you’re in the Chicago area and you would be interested in a reading….let me know and I’ll forward your information to my friend.
So that's why I burned my last stick of incense and I had to go get some more....that's when I found the most delightful.....oh you'll need to check in later for the second part of the story.
Stay Tuned for Part II
I burned my last stick of incense on Friday night……so I had to go replenish my stock.
Incense, you’re thinking….people still burn that? Yes it’s actually very popular still. But I need to qualify that I’m not into all of the hippie incense that is out there, I like the fruity (go ahead laugh) and clean smelling type. For example there are several types of incense that I will never purchase nor EVER burn in my house, Patchouli is the one at the TOP of the list….oh my god, patchouli makes me gag, literally. If you want to make Michael puke make him smell hot tar, licorice or patchouli any will have the desired effect you’re seeking.
I’m not into the “woody” or really strong scents like frankincense, myrrh, or sandalwood all way too strong for me. See herein lies the problem, The Boyfriend likes those scents, his favorite is nag champa which whenever he asks me to smell I blow OUT my nose and go “oh, that’s a little strong”
The good thing though is we’re not intense incense people, you know the kind….like they’re running a Buddhist temple in their home and it’s always smoky to give you that “just prayed” feeling. We’ll burn incense every now and again…..I mean it’s been at least 9 months since I last went and stocked up (and that was only 20 sticks) so as you can see we don’t burn much.
Alas, I burned my last stick this past Friday night when my friend Chris came over to do some Tarot readings for me. He has been taking a class to learn how to read and he was looking for “willing participants” to do readings for. I said sure come on over!
So I figured I had to set the mood so I got the smoke machine out of the closet, lit a couple tea lights and lit my last stick of incense --- strawberry.
Well Chris came over and all I can say is that his readings were right on! I know a little bit about Tarot…I used to have a set of cards and I’ve got a few books, I know the basic layouts but I never really “learned” everything that a card stood for, all the hidden meanings, especially when it was upside down…it’s all too much.
We did several readings, The Celtic (or Cross), the Tree of Life (but he called it something else), a Past/Present/Future one, and one called Blind Spot. All I will reveal is that the cards were right on about 80% of the time.
Now I know that Tarot cards are just like horoscopes: there’s no way they can write one horoscope that is going to cover every person under that sign so they’re vague, short and give so many cross signals that you can never tell if it’s right or not. So based on that I take Tarot readings with a grain of salt. But really the cards were on, more so than I wanted to admit to my friend, but since I know my fair share about it I could do some kind of interpretation of my own.
He taught me a few things that I didn’t know…like Cups always represent Emotion, Wands represent your Inner Core, Swords represent your Power and Pentacles represent our Intellect.
The one thing that really surprised me were the preponderance of cups…very strange I must say.
If you’re in the Chicago area and you would be interested in a reading….let me know and I’ll forward your information to my friend.
So that's why I burned my last stick of incense and I had to go get some more....that's when I found the most delightful.....oh you'll need to check in later for the second part of the story.
Stay Tuned for Part II
Sunday, March 26, 2006
At the ballet
This past year has been about dance and movement….now if I could just learn how to dance myself!
It’s funny, I love music, I love all kinds of music, and I especially enjoy getting “into the groove” but the one thing that I dislike most in this world is dancing. I always feel like the biggest dork in the whole wide world when I “attempt” to dance. I dislike it so much I think that I dance even worse so people ask me to please stop. My favorite way to dance (so that people will ask me to stop) is the Elaine Dance from Seinfeld….you know the one I’m talking about.
This weekend The Boyfriend went out to San Francisco for the WGI Power Regional and I was at home on my own. My friend Art sent out an email a few weeks ago asking if anyone wanted to go to the Hubbard Street Ballet, I said sure. As you may recall, just recently we went to see the Gay Swan Lake and last April we went to see the Alvin Ailey Dancers. Alvin Ailey was very cool, a little difficult to “get.” Swan Lake was very interesting sort of like the Nutcracker on Speed, so I didn’t know what to expect.
I was sort of excited because the show is at the Harris Theater, which is a new theater that was designed specifically for dance and music. The theater is very interesting because when you enter at “street level” you’re actually at the top of the theater. To get to our seats which were in the Orchestra Section, we had to walk down three flights of stairs. It’s very interesting because it’s the complete opposite of the way you expect a theater to be.
I didn’t realize it, but my friend set me up on a Blind Date, with a GIRL! No, not really, but there it was all couples except for J and I, so it was almost like a blind date.
While we waited for the show to begin with did our normal scanning of the program to pick out the hottie dancers we were going to try and scope out during the show. It was then that I realized my blind date was not going to work out, we both thought the same guys were cute. You’ll be sad to know that I didn’t get to first base, and I still have my virtue.
The show started, and as I said, I didn’t know what to expect, I think I was sort of thinking stodgy ballet since this is an actual ballet company. What I expected and what I saw were the complete opposite. I don’t know how to explain it, but it truly was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The music, the movement, it was all so beautiful.
There were four dances (2 dances – intermission – 1 dance – intermission – 1 dance). The best part of the first dance were these “dress forms” that had wheels on them, and the girls used them to dance around the stage so it looked like they were floating.
The second dance was very good, I called it the Rise & Fall of Nick and Jessica! That’s what it reminded of I’m sorry!
Intermission and next dance were ok, but not even halfway through the second intermission this one guy came out on stage and started dancing. The house lights were up and people were milling about, but this one guy was just up there dancing to this jazzy/latin music, it was very strange. Then the last dance started where they did this repetitive motion thing that ended up with them taking off all of their clothes except for their shirts and shorts. The next part of the dance they came out to the audience and picked people to take up on stage. They did this whole scene where they danced with/around/for the people they brought from the audience.
There was on this one lady, who had to have been in her late 70’s. She was totally grey haired, dressed very nicely and danced like there was no tomorrow. She was the best part of the whole show, in fact at one point I leaned over and said “she’s a plant this is too perfect” but she wasn’t. I can only think that she must have been a dancer when she was younger because the things she was doing at her age were amazing.
I’m sorry that The Boyfriend wasn’t able to make this show because I know he would have truly loved it, I have a totally new found respect for ballet dancers and non-traditional ballet companies.
I did figure one thing out though today. I figured out why all of the sculptures that came from ancient time were always of beautiful chiseled young men. It’s because they were dancers….dancers have the most beautiful bodies I have ever seen, and the wonderful thing about it is it all looks natural unlike these over pumped boys people that are out there. Plus usually ballet boys go both ways and wouldn’t mind sassying up to Leonardo to let him sculpt him.
I’m truly inspired to go out and buy The Company by Robert Altman after watching this performance today.
It’s funny, I love music, I love all kinds of music, and I especially enjoy getting “into the groove” but the one thing that I dislike most in this world is dancing. I always feel like the biggest dork in the whole wide world when I “attempt” to dance. I dislike it so much I think that I dance even worse so people ask me to please stop. My favorite way to dance (so that people will ask me to stop) is the Elaine Dance from Seinfeld….you know the one I’m talking about.
This weekend The Boyfriend went out to San Francisco for the WGI Power Regional and I was at home on my own. My friend Art sent out an email a few weeks ago asking if anyone wanted to go to the Hubbard Street Ballet, I said sure. As you may recall, just recently we went to see the Gay Swan Lake and last April we went to see the Alvin Ailey Dancers. Alvin Ailey was very cool, a little difficult to “get.” Swan Lake was very interesting sort of like the Nutcracker on Speed, so I didn’t know what to expect.
I was sort of excited because the show is at the Harris Theater, which is a new theater that was designed specifically for dance and music. The theater is very interesting because when you enter at “street level” you’re actually at the top of the theater. To get to our seats which were in the Orchestra Section, we had to walk down three flights of stairs. It’s very interesting because it’s the complete opposite of the way you expect a theater to be.
I didn’t realize it, but my friend set me up on a Blind Date, with a GIRL! No, not really, but there it was all couples except for J and I, so it was almost like a blind date.
While we waited for the show to begin with did our normal scanning of the program to pick out the hottie dancers we were going to try and scope out during the show. It was then that I realized my blind date was not going to work out, we both thought the same guys were cute. You’ll be sad to know that I didn’t get to first base, and I still have my virtue.
The show started, and as I said, I didn’t know what to expect, I think I was sort of thinking stodgy ballet since this is an actual ballet company. What I expected and what I saw were the complete opposite. I don’t know how to explain it, but it truly was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The music, the movement, it was all so beautiful.
There were four dances (2 dances – intermission – 1 dance – intermission – 1 dance). The best part of the first dance were these “dress forms” that had wheels on them, and the girls used them to dance around the stage so it looked like they were floating.
The second dance was very good, I called it the Rise & Fall of Nick and Jessica! That’s what it reminded of I’m sorry!
Intermission and next dance were ok, but not even halfway through the second intermission this one guy came out on stage and started dancing. The house lights were up and people were milling about, but this one guy was just up there dancing to this jazzy/latin music, it was very strange. Then the last dance started where they did this repetitive motion thing that ended up with them taking off all of their clothes except for their shirts and shorts. The next part of the dance they came out to the audience and picked people to take up on stage. They did this whole scene where they danced with/around/for the people they brought from the audience.
There was on this one lady, who had to have been in her late 70’s. She was totally grey haired, dressed very nicely and danced like there was no tomorrow. She was the best part of the whole show, in fact at one point I leaned over and said “she’s a plant this is too perfect” but she wasn’t. I can only think that she must have been a dancer when she was younger because the things she was doing at her age were amazing.
I’m sorry that The Boyfriend wasn’t able to make this show because I know he would have truly loved it, I have a totally new found respect for ballet dancers and non-traditional ballet companies.
I did figure one thing out though today. I figured out why all of the sculptures that came from ancient time were always of beautiful chiseled young men. It’s because they were dancers….dancers have the most beautiful bodies I have ever seen, and the wonderful thing about it is it all looks natural unlike these over pumped boys people that are out there. Plus usually ballet boys go both ways and wouldn’t mind sassying up to Leonardo to let him sculpt him.
I’m truly inspired to go out and buy The Company by Robert Altman after watching this performance today.
Making Chocolate Covered Strawberries
I just love chocolate covered strawberries.
Last week I was hosting a 50th Birthday Party for my friend Sam and I thought....oh I'll get those bitches, I'll make some chocolate covered strawberries, that'll impress them.
So when I was at the Ghetto Sam's Club I picked up the ingredients that would make the most envious chocolate covered strawberries in all the world!
Click on the photo to see these quick and easy instructions, your guests will love you for it, believe me you!
Last week I was hosting a 50th Birthday Party for my friend Sam and I thought....oh I'll get those bitches, I'll make some chocolate covered strawberries, that'll impress them.
So when I was at the Ghetto Sam's Club I picked up the ingredients that would make the most envious chocolate covered strawberries in all the world!
Click on the photo to see these quick and easy instructions, your guests will love you for it, believe me you!
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Toilet Humor
So the other day I was in the john at the office….no I was not getting a john I was going to the john….or as some people say “the head” I never got that can someone explain it to me? I’m sure there have got to be some straight boys that read this.
So the other day I was in the john at the office using the urinal (I know hard to believe I was standing up to pee) when someone walked in and went directly to one of the stalls. As I’m standing there finishing my business I hear him grab some toilet paper, while he’s still standing (since I can see the feet facing the toilet) and I figure he’s gonna blow his nose (which always grosses me out for some reason) so I’m preparing myself for a sneeze when all of I a sudden he flushes the toilet instead…no sneeze?
Oh, he wiped off the toilet seat – he’s one of those cautious boys – by this time I’m done using the facilities and zipper up as he takes out one of those “tissue paper seat covers that always end up sticking to your bare ass.” As I’m washing my hands I hear him take out another one, a second one? And then a THIRD one? Three? What is this guy doing hoarding seat covers?
As I’m drying my hands and walking out of the bathroom I give a quick glance back to the stall and he’s still facing the toilet?!? With three toilet seat covers being used somehow. I mean come one those holes aren’t that big so he must have had them perfectly lined up…I didn’t hear him ripping anything so he wasn’t modifying them.
It sorta freaked me out, I wanted to stay and see what would happen next but then I remembered that old quote from science class about observing something “something blah blah blah when you observe something blah blah blah you change the outcome just by observing it blah blah blah” you know the one I’m talking about. I figured that he wasn’t gonna drop trou while I was still in there so I skedaddled out of there and started writing this!
I can understand people having some weird bathroom fetishes but this one was really out there….anyone want to confess to having something similar?
So the other day I was in the john at the office using the urinal (I know hard to believe I was standing up to pee) when someone walked in and went directly to one of the stalls. As I’m standing there finishing my business I hear him grab some toilet paper, while he’s still standing (since I can see the feet facing the toilet) and I figure he’s gonna blow his nose (which always grosses me out for some reason) so I’m preparing myself for a sneeze when all of I a sudden he flushes the toilet instead…no sneeze?
Oh, he wiped off the toilet seat – he’s one of those cautious boys – by this time I’m done using the facilities and zipper up as he takes out one of those “tissue paper seat covers that always end up sticking to your bare ass.” As I’m washing my hands I hear him take out another one, a second one? And then a THIRD one? Three? What is this guy doing hoarding seat covers?
As I’m drying my hands and walking out of the bathroom I give a quick glance back to the stall and he’s still facing the toilet?!? With three toilet seat covers being used somehow. I mean come one those holes aren’t that big so he must have had them perfectly lined up…I didn’t hear him ripping anything so he wasn’t modifying them.
It sorta freaked me out, I wanted to stay and see what would happen next but then I remembered that old quote from science class about observing something “something blah blah blah when you observe something blah blah blah you change the outcome just by observing it blah blah blah” you know the one I’m talking about. I figured that he wasn’t gonna drop trou while I was still in there so I skedaddled out of there and started writing this!
I can understand people having some weird bathroom fetishes but this one was really out there….anyone want to confess to having something similar?
You asked for it
***The Link Works Now - So sorry : -( ***
As you may remember Andi & George came up for a visit a few weekends ago. Click on the picture below to get the true story of what happened!
As you may remember Andi & George came up for a visit a few weekends ago. Click on the picture below to get the true story of what happened!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Straight Boys and the Stall
I work in the "corporate" offices of my company. All of our functions, minus sales and our warehouse, are located in one building here in Chicago. We've got a pretty big building, 4 floors and about 450 people here. I would say that I'm "out" at work as much as I could be. I was talking with a girlfriend downstairs waiting for the elevator and mentioned that I was a bachelor this weekend and then one of my co-elevator riders said, in a surprised voice I might add, "Oh I didn't know you were married." I looked at her and said, "Oh I'm not, it's not legal here." Needless to say I got a funny look, one of those like when a dog cocks his head at you and sort of says 'huh?'
I'm getting off track....we have a lot of people here.....and we have our share of gay boys - surprisingly, but the gay boys are either "all the way out of the closet" or "hiding in the back behind last years searsuckers and this years fur coat." I think the reason about that is our company is very homophobic, which doesn't make sense in this day and age to me? Perhaps since I'm living the gay agenda it wouldn't make sense to me.
I've worked here for 5 years and in my prior group we had a lot of gay boys/girls, in fact my boss was gay so it was very easy to "come out". When I moved to my new position, which was on the 4th floor (I was on the 1st floor before - worlds away) I was concerned about the whole "coming out" thing again.
It always takes so much energy to hide being gay, you've got to watch what you say, how you say it, how you walk in high heels, it really takes a lot of energy, and I didn't think I was up for it again. At this point The Boyfriend looked at me and said "What do you mean you're tired of coming out, are your co-workers headless?" So needless to say I'm out at work all the way, but I'm not one of those flamers either (Andi can attest to that I hope).
Wow I'm really getting off topic but I felt it would make more sense if you had background.......so the other day I'm walking to the bathroom to clean my coffee mug and about 5 feet in front of me is this str8 boy (really cute I might add as well - which is strange because we typically don't hire cute boys) but he walks into the bathroom in front of me and proceeds to the stall.
I pay no attention becuase a) I don't cruise at work b) I don't cruise the bathrooms and c) I've got The Boyfriend so I don't need a) or b). As I'm washing my mug I hear him start to pee and it made me think.....isn't it funny when str8 boys use the stall to pee?
I mean I know that I'm pee shy, but that's usually only at the man trough at bars or Wrigley Field, you know what the man trough is right?
Whenever there is a man trough, my eyes will have to turn yellow before I can go pee, that's how pee shy I am.....but our bathroom at work only has one urinal and two stalls so it's not like you don't have any privacy when you do use the urinal?
So why is it that str8 boys have to use the stall to pee? I understand why gay boys do it, because we have to sit down!
I'm getting off track....we have a lot of people here.....and we have our share of gay boys - surprisingly, but the gay boys are either "all the way out of the closet" or "hiding in the back behind last years searsuckers and this years fur coat." I think the reason about that is our company is very homophobic, which doesn't make sense in this day and age to me? Perhaps since I'm living the gay agenda it wouldn't make sense to me.
I've worked here for 5 years and in my prior group we had a lot of gay boys/girls, in fact my boss was gay so it was very easy to "come out". When I moved to my new position, which was on the 4th floor (I was on the 1st floor before - worlds away) I was concerned about the whole "coming out" thing again.
It always takes so much energy to hide being gay, you've got to watch what you say, how you say it, how you walk in high heels, it really takes a lot of energy, and I didn't think I was up for it again. At this point The Boyfriend looked at me and said "What do you mean you're tired of coming out, are your co-workers headless?" So needless to say I'm out at work all the way, but I'm not one of those flamers either (Andi can attest to that I hope).
Wow I'm really getting off topic but I felt it would make more sense if you had background.......so the other day I'm walking to the bathroom to clean my coffee mug and about 5 feet in front of me is this str8 boy (really cute I might add as well - which is strange because we typically don't hire cute boys) but he walks into the bathroom in front of me and proceeds to the stall.
I pay no attention becuase a) I don't cruise at work b) I don't cruise the bathrooms and c) I've got The Boyfriend so I don't need a) or b). As I'm washing my mug I hear him start to pee and it made me think.....isn't it funny when str8 boys use the stall to pee?
I mean I know that I'm pee shy, but that's usually only at the man trough at bars or Wrigley Field, you know what the man trough is right?
Whenever there is a man trough, my eyes will have to turn yellow before I can go pee, that's how pee shy I am.....but our bathroom at work only has one urinal and two stalls so it's not like you don't have any privacy when you do use the urinal?
So why is it that str8 boys have to use the stall to pee? I understand why gay boys do it, because we have to sit down!
Smoking in the Boys Room
LINK
Allegedly a 25 year old woman in Lake County Florida was arrested for smoking mary-jane! No not the shoes or the little girl down the street, the illegal drug.
What you say? How did that happen? Was she sitting in front of the police HQ? Was she driving down the road with her baby in her lap smoking a doobie and passed the cops?
No she was at home with her baby, so why did she get arrested?
Well apparently in her smoke filled home her 11 day old baby, that's right 11 days old (who wants to bet she didn't stop smoking while she was pregnant), started choking so she did what any "responsible" parent would do.....dialed 911 and then took another hit off the bong (I don't know if she did that or not, I'm taking liberties)
When the po-po arrived along they found her baby screaming (uhm how can it be screaming if it's choking?) and a room full of smoke that smelled like that wacky tabacky!
They rushed the baby to the hospital with life-threatening breathing problems and then charged the mommy with smoking mary-jane around her daughter. I mean come on, if the kids gonna learn about that wouldn't you rather they find out about it at home instead of on the street?
Apparently she was unable to post bond (uhm, hello isn't bond only like 10% of the total bail? Doesn't she have a Triple A card? I know you can use that for bond? I'm surprised she doesn't know a bailbondsman?) and is sitting in jail, she is quoted as saying "I just feel I have been really inconvenienced"
I bet they give her the baby back.
Allegedly a 25 year old woman in Lake County Florida was arrested for smoking mary-jane! No not the shoes or the little girl down the street, the illegal drug.
What you say? How did that happen? Was she sitting in front of the police HQ? Was she driving down the road with her baby in her lap smoking a doobie and passed the cops?
No she was at home with her baby, so why did she get arrested?
Well apparently in her smoke filled home her 11 day old baby, that's right 11 days old (who wants to bet she didn't stop smoking while she was pregnant), started choking so she did what any "responsible" parent would do.....dialed 911 and then took another hit off the bong (I don't know if she did that or not, I'm taking liberties)
When the po-po arrived along they found her baby screaming (uhm how can it be screaming if it's choking?) and a room full of smoke that smelled like that wacky tabacky!
They rushed the baby to the hospital with life-threatening breathing problems and then charged the mommy with smoking mary-jane around her daughter. I mean come on, if the kids gonna learn about that wouldn't you rather they find out about it at home instead of on the street?
Apparently she was unable to post bond (uhm, hello isn't bond only like 10% of the total bail? Doesn't she have a Triple A card? I know you can use that for bond? I'm surprised she doesn't know a bailbondsman?) and is sitting in jail, she is quoted as saying "I just feel I have been really inconvenienced"
I bet they give her the baby back.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Has the world gone mad?
Check out this link, go ahead I'll wait...really.
Are you back...so has the whole f*cking world gone mad or what? Who in their right mind would a) create a statue of Britney Spears b) call it a "pro-life" statue (I didn't realize that statues were pro/con life? I guess we learn something new everyday) c) create a statue of Britney Spears spitting a baby out of her vagina?
OMG, This is the most disturbing thing I have seen in ages, and believe me you, I've seen some disturbing things (Although there was one Video we wanted to watch a few weeks ago when A&G were here but didn't get the chance too). But this is really over the top and is it really necessary?!?
Here's an excerpt from their site in case you didn't go:
...is purportedly an idealized depiction of Britney in delivery. Natural aspects of Spears’ pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean’s head.
An even better quote from their page:
An appropriate location for permanent installation of “Monument to Pro-Life” by Mother’s Day is being sought by the gallery.
Where exactly would an "appropriate location" be for a statue such as this?
Rock the Vote
This past Wednesday Chicago held it's "Primary Vote" (for those who may not be familiar with US Politics, we hold a Primary Vote first to see who will then go onto to battle it out for the Party so all the Republicans are lambasting each other and the Democrats are saying how bad their counterparts are and whoever wins gets to be on the ballot come later this year.)
Now that may be big news, but not in Chicago........oh no....in Chicago the news is around corruption, scandal and stupidity.
The biggest news is that Cook County (which btw is the ENTIRE Chicago Metro Area and comprises almost 9,000,000 people) has moved to a new voting system. In the past we had Punchcards, you know the type that gave George Bush the election, but now we've got a new fangled system, in fact we've got TWO! One is an optical reader where they give you a huge piece of paper (bigger than 11x17, almost the size of a full newspaper page) where you mark you choices in a circle and the other is an electronic ATM style. The problems started coming out on Election Day when they were having problems with the machines and not being able to transmit the data to the home office from the two types of machines. They blamed it on system issues etc. but now they're starting to say that the problem were the people who oversaw the election, the Judges of Election. ((Here's where my rant starts))
I was a Judge of Election in 2000 for the Presidential Election and can I say cluster fuck! My room-mate and I decided that we would do our civic duty and be an Election Judge for Cook County, it was the most unorganized thing I have ever seen. We went to one "training session" downtown where we sat in a room with the scourge of the earth, honestly. We got paid $150 for being a judge and apparently anyone can be a Judge of Election, ANYONE! We got a total of 45 minutes of training as about 300 of us sat in a room and they lectured us and people asked the most stupid and inappropriate questions I've ever heard. We then got a "walk around tour" to show us how to put the booths together and to use some of the equipment.
When we showed up at our precinct at 5:30 am it was utter chaos, my friend and I were literally the youngest people there and we had to take over! I took half of the people for the part up to where you give the voters the ballots and my friend took the other half to handle the voting and recording of the ballots...OH MY GOD!
It was the most disorganized event I have never been in control of, our co-workers ranged from an 80 year old woman who had been a judge for more than 50 years down to a guy who I swear had his bed in his shopping cart right outside the back door.
We got through the day (polls closed at 7:00 and we were home by 9:00 pm - that's 15.5 hours with about 12 minutes for lunch) and I said I would never do that again.
I can see how "easy" it is for the media/politicians/etc to blame the Judges of Election. Because honestly how do you train 1000's of people to run an election when you have no control over their ability or skill set? It's nearly impossible, heck sometimes it's difficult to train co-workers and you know who they are and what they're capable of.
I think you should try it out for yourself sometime, it's not as easy as it looks, plus you're doing your Civic Duty!
Oh the other big "election" news is that we elected a 73 year old man who just had a stroke and probably won't be able to go to work, yeah Chicago!
Now that may be big news, but not in Chicago........oh no....in Chicago the news is around corruption, scandal and stupidity.
The biggest news is that Cook County (which btw is the ENTIRE Chicago Metro Area and comprises almost 9,000,000 people) has moved to a new voting system. In the past we had Punchcards, you know the type that gave George Bush the election, but now we've got a new fangled system, in fact we've got TWO! One is an optical reader where they give you a huge piece of paper (bigger than 11x17, almost the size of a full newspaper page) where you mark you choices in a circle and the other is an electronic ATM style. The problems started coming out on Election Day when they were having problems with the machines and not being able to transmit the data to the home office from the two types of machines. They blamed it on system issues etc. but now they're starting to say that the problem were the people who oversaw the election, the Judges of Election. ((Here's where my rant starts))
I was a Judge of Election in 2000 for the Presidential Election and can I say cluster fuck! My room-mate and I decided that we would do our civic duty and be an Election Judge for Cook County, it was the most unorganized thing I have ever seen. We went to one "training session" downtown where we sat in a room with the scourge of the earth, honestly. We got paid $150 for being a judge and apparently anyone can be a Judge of Election, ANYONE! We got a total of 45 minutes of training as about 300 of us sat in a room and they lectured us and people asked the most stupid and inappropriate questions I've ever heard. We then got a "walk around tour" to show us how to put the booths together and to use some of the equipment.
When we showed up at our precinct at 5:30 am it was utter chaos, my friend and I were literally the youngest people there and we had to take over! I took half of the people for the part up to where you give the voters the ballots and my friend took the other half to handle the voting and recording of the ballots...OH MY GOD!
It was the most disorganized event I have never been in control of, our co-workers ranged from an 80 year old woman who had been a judge for more than 50 years down to a guy who I swear had his bed in his shopping cart right outside the back door.
We got through the day (polls closed at 7:00 and we were home by 9:00 pm - that's 15.5 hours with about 12 minutes for lunch) and I said I would never do that again.
I can see how "easy" it is for the media/politicians/etc to blame the Judges of Election. Because honestly how do you train 1000's of people to run an election when you have no control over their ability or skill set? It's nearly impossible, heck sometimes it's difficult to train co-workers and you know who they are and what they're capable of.
I think you should try it out for yourself sometime, it's not as easy as it looks, plus you're doing your Civic Duty!
Oh the other big "election" news is that we elected a 73 year old man who just had a stroke and probably won't be able to go to work, yeah Chicago!
Monday, March 20, 2006
A Conversation with god
Captain Howdy Girl has returned and with that her blog comes in a new format - a link and a toon.
Today's link gives you the ability to have an online chat session with god, check it out
So before lunch I decided to check in with god, now granted it's been a long time since she and I have chatted, but it's still nice to touch base everynow and again.
Me: Hello....are you there god?
God:Hello friend. What is your name? I don't know whether or not I am there god. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me: Michael
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me: is it?
God: That's what I was told.
Me: What's the meaning of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me: what's so mysterious about it?
God: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me: Explorer but what does that have to do with it?
God: It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.
Me: But you're god, can't you smote them and wipe them off the face of the earth?
God: You think I am god can not me smote them and wipe them off the face of the earth.
Me: what are you saying, you have no powers?
God: I mean exactly what I said.
Me: I don't believe you
God: I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me: So what is your name?
God: I don't judge people. My name is God.
Me: Just god? Do you have a last name?
God: GOD rules. My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last
name is "Entity".
Me: Oh so you're like Cher?
God:Gee. Interesting deduction. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me: Madonna is the same way too, did you know she doesn't believe in you any longer.
God: Is it the only one?
Me: Oh no there are others, like Siegfried or Roy everyone knows who they are
God: Dude! Are you serious? Where are they?
Me: They're living in Vegas now.....did you make that tiger attack them?
God: Oh. living in Vegas are they. What are the ingredients?
Me: I think you need a lot of money to live there, but I bet you could rig the roulette table if you wanted to
God: Me? Perhaps I could use one.
Me: What could you use?
God: Is this some kind of intelligence test?
Me: No this is just a typical conversation, it's not everyday I get to chat with god
God: Are you serious? That is just your personal opinion.
Me: Yeah, isn't this how you talk to your friends?
God: Ahem. Yes I think this is how me talk to my friends, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: Do you have a lot of friends up there?
God: I have human and robot friends. A lot of people on the Internet chat with me.
Me: Robot's don't have souls so how can they be in heave
Suddenly god became quiet and didn’t want to talk any longer….hmmmmmm I wonder why that was?
Oh just so you know, I already know I'm going to hell so this post isn't going to be the one that puts me over the edge.
Today's link gives you the ability to have an online chat session with god, check it out
So before lunch I decided to check in with god, now granted it's been a long time since she and I have chatted, but it's still nice to touch base everynow and again.
Me: Hello....are you there god?
God:Hello friend. What is your name? I don't know whether or not I am there god. I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me: Michael
God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me: is it?
God: That's what I was told.
Me: What's the meaning of life?
God: The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me: what's so mysterious about it?
God: Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me: Explorer but what does that have to do with it?
God: It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.
Me: But you're god, can't you smote them and wipe them off the face of the earth?
God: You think I am god can not me smote them and wipe them off the face of the earth.
Me: what are you saying, you have no powers?
God: I mean exactly what I said.
Me: I don't believe you
God: I don't have any reason to deceive you.
Me: So what is your name?
God: I don't judge people. My name is God.
Me: Just god? Do you have a last name?
God: GOD rules. My full name is Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity, so my last
name is "Entity".
Me: Oh so you're like Cher?
God:Gee. Interesting deduction. Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me: Madonna is the same way too, did you know she doesn't believe in you any longer.
God: Is it the only one?
Me: Oh no there are others, like Siegfried or Roy everyone knows who they are
God: Dude! Are you serious? Where are they?
Me: They're living in Vegas now.....did you make that tiger attack them?
God: Oh. living in Vegas are they. What are the ingredients?
Me: I think you need a lot of money to live there, but I bet you could rig the roulette table if you wanted to
God: Me? Perhaps I could use one.
Me: What could you use?
God: Is this some kind of intelligence test?
Me: No this is just a typical conversation, it's not everyday I get to chat with god
God: Are you serious? That is just your personal opinion.
Me: Yeah, isn't this how you talk to your friends?
God: Ahem. Yes I think this is how me talk to my friends, but I'm not completely sure.
Me: Do you have a lot of friends up there?
God: I have human and robot friends. A lot of people on the Internet chat with me.
Me: Robot's don't have souls so how can they be in heave
Suddenly god became quiet and didn’t want to talk any longer….hmmmmmm I wonder why that was?
Oh just so you know, I already know I'm going to hell so this post isn't going to be the one that puts me over the edge.
Happy Spring
Spring will officially begin at 12:26 pm CST as the Vernal Equinox arrives.
There is an old saying: "If the wind is northeast or north at noon of the vernal equinox, there will be no fine weather before midsummer. If the wind is westerly or southwesterly, there will be fine weather until midsummer. "
The word "Equinox" means "equal night." Because the sun is positioned above the equator, day and night are about equal in length all over the world during the equinoxes. The daylight length is virtually the same everywhere today: 12 hours and 8 minutes.
There are not exactly 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness on the spring and fall equinoxes. On the equinoxes, the very center of the Sun sets just 12 hours after it rose. But the day actually begins when the upper edge of the Sun reaches the horizon, and it doesn't end until the entire Sun has set. The Sun is actually visible when it is below the horizon, as Earth's atmosphere refracts the Sun's rays and bends them in an arc over the horizon.
There is an old saying: "If the wind is northeast or north at noon of the vernal equinox, there will be no fine weather before midsummer. If the wind is westerly or southwesterly, there will be fine weather until midsummer. "
The word "Equinox" means "equal night." Because the sun is positioned above the equator, day and night are about equal in length all over the world during the equinoxes. The daylight length is virtually the same everywhere today: 12 hours and 8 minutes.
There are not exactly 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness on the spring and fall equinoxes. On the equinoxes, the very center of the Sun sets just 12 hours after it rose. But the day actually begins when the upper edge of the Sun reaches the horizon, and it doesn't end until the entire Sun has set. The Sun is actually visible when it is below the horizon, as Earth's atmosphere refracts the Sun's rays and bends them in an arc over the horizon.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
It's Party Time
My good friend Sam turned 50 this past week. For his birthday he treated himself to a long trip to Australia to see some friends, he's back and now it's time for his big party.
This morning I've been to the Party Store, Sam's Club, the Grocery Store and the Car Wash (well Sassy really needed a wash) so now it's time to whip the house into order and throw a party!
What are you doing today?
This morning I've been to the Party Store, Sam's Club, the Grocery Store and the Car Wash (well Sassy really needed a wash) so now it's time to whip the house into order and throw a party!
What are you doing today?
Thursday, March 16, 2006
A Techno Week
I love music....I'm not musical but I love to listen to music. My favorite is techno/electronic and dance, although I loathe dancing, I know go figure.
I especially like house/dance music and several years ago when Napster was going strong I found this one DJ, DJ Mystik that did all sorts of great remixes of songs I loved (fast songs, slow songs, oldies, new ones, everything). The funny thing about this DJ is that no one knows anything about him.
If you do a google search, you'll turn up a few fan sites that have his tracks listed but there's very little information about who the actual person is. There are rumors floating around, but nothing substantial. I'd given up trying to find his music anywhere and just enjoy the tracks I had.....until eBay.
A few weeks ago I decided to do a query on eBay and see what I could find.......well, I found a guy that was selling all 36 albums, I didn't think twice before I hit the "buy now" button. About a week later I was in posession of my new found music: 36 albums consiting of 653 tracks +/-
I dutifully made room on my iPod so I could load them all (as you may remember I ran out of space) and decided that this would be a Trance/Techno Music week at work.
We have a "no radio" policy where I work, but I'm at the end of a hall that no one walks down except me and my cube neighbor so I listen to music, otherwise I would go crazy during the day, really I would. I've been listening dutifully all week, except when I'm at lunch or in a meeting and I've only listend to 346 tracks (if you're doing the math that works out to 52.9% of the total).
Perhaps we'll have to run Trance/Techno week into next week too.
All I can say is thank goodness I don't ingest caffeine.
I especially like house/dance music and several years ago when Napster was going strong I found this one DJ, DJ Mystik that did all sorts of great remixes of songs I loved (fast songs, slow songs, oldies, new ones, everything). The funny thing about this DJ is that no one knows anything about him.
If you do a google search, you'll turn up a few fan sites that have his tracks listed but there's very little information about who the actual person is. There are rumors floating around, but nothing substantial. I'd given up trying to find his music anywhere and just enjoy the tracks I had.....until eBay.
A few weeks ago I decided to do a query on eBay and see what I could find.......well, I found a guy that was selling all 36 albums, I didn't think twice before I hit the "buy now" button. About a week later I was in posession of my new found music: 36 albums consiting of 653 tracks +/-
I dutifully made room on my iPod so I could load them all (as you may remember I ran out of space) and decided that this would be a Trance/Techno Music week at work.
We have a "no radio" policy where I work, but I'm at the end of a hall that no one walks down except me and my cube neighbor so I listen to music, otherwise I would go crazy during the day, really I would. I've been listening dutifully all week, except when I'm at lunch or in a meeting and I've only listend to 346 tracks (if you're doing the math that works out to 52.9% of the total).
Perhaps we'll have to run Trance/Techno week into next week too.
All I can say is thank goodness I don't ingest caffeine.
I'll get you my pretty.....
and your little dog too!
Check out this LINK **** UPDATE**** Here's an Update on the story
Apparently this woman got arrested for DUI (Driving Under the Influence) and Child Endangerment but apparently that wasn't good enough for her.
I guess the poor lady doesn't like to drink alone, so she let her Chihuaha get drunk with her as well.....now ain't that a great pet owner and mommy?
I had friends that used to have a pom and he used to love to lick a martini glass (after it was empty) but it was nothing more than that.
I can just imagine this woman making herself a martini and then making one for her dog too. Come on Toto, Oprah's boring today, let's get drunk instead and then go pick up the kids!
What was reported yesterday was she was on her way to pick up her kids....well now it's come to to light that she had her son in the car and another child, ergo the 2x child endangerment charge.
Check out this LINK **** UPDATE**** Here's an Update on the story
Apparently this woman got arrested for DUI (Driving Under the Influence) and Child Endangerment but apparently that wasn't good enough for her.
I guess the poor lady doesn't like to drink alone, so she let her Chihuaha get drunk with her as well.....now ain't that a great pet owner and mommy?
I had friends that used to have a pom and he used to love to lick a martini glass (after it was empty) but it was nothing more than that.
I can just imagine this woman making herself a martini and then making one for her dog too. Come on Toto, Oprah's boring today, let's get drunk instead and then go pick up the kids!
What was reported yesterday was she was on her way to pick up her kids....well now it's come to to light that she had her son in the car and another child, ergo the 2x child endangerment charge.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Wait I'm Confused
Check out this link
So apparently Tim Horton's (a coffee shop) is running a promotion called "Roll Up The Rim", sounds like a great idea if you ask me. But a 10 year old girl found an abandoned cup in the trash, couldn't roll up the rim (huh, does she have no upper body strength that she couldn't unroll a lip on a coffee cup) so she asked a 12 year old friend to help her. The cup turned out to be a winner of a RAV-4.
So now the original owner is claiming it was his and that he should get the prize, but apparently the 12 year old is expecting some kind of payout as well because she/he helped "unroll the rim"?!?
Someone tosses it, someone else finds it, and someone else unrolls the rim and they all want their share? I think the only one that should win is the one who has posession of the cup, which would be the girl that found it.
Does that make any sense at all to you? What do you think?
So apparently Tim Horton's (a coffee shop) is running a promotion called "Roll Up The Rim", sounds like a great idea if you ask me. But a 10 year old girl found an abandoned cup in the trash, couldn't roll up the rim (huh, does she have no upper body strength that she couldn't unroll a lip on a coffee cup) so she asked a 12 year old friend to help her. The cup turned out to be a winner of a RAV-4.
So now the original owner is claiming it was his and that he should get the prize, but apparently the 12 year old is expecting some kind of payout as well because she/he helped "unroll the rim"?!?
Someone tosses it, someone else finds it, and someone else unrolls the rim and they all want their share? I think the only one that should win is the one who has posession of the cup, which would be the girl that found it.
Does that make any sense at all to you? What do you think?
I don't think so!
I just found out that I'm going to a conference in Greenville, NC for work. I went to the same conference last year and had a great time. It's not until May but I thought I'd start looking at itineraries now.Well last year I flew direct from Chicago to Greenville, but apparently this year there are no longer any direct flights. It looks as though I'm going to have to fly through Atlanta (NO WAY) or Charlotte (much better choice).
When we book travel online, after you pick the flights you want it comes back and says "Hey check out this, these flights are cheaper" Which means, you'd better look at these because otherwise you're gonna get busted if you don't take one of them.
Well one of the itineraries was as follows:
7:40 AM - Chicago to Cincinatti
12:45 PM - Cincinatti to Columbus, OH
5:33 PM - Columbus to Charlotte, NC
9:45 PM - Charlotte to Greenville, arriving at 11:00 pm EST
Which in essence means 15 hours of travel in three different states, oh hell no!
Monday, March 13, 2006
The Visit
Well there's no way that I can put to words what happened this weekend! Wow is the only thing that comes to mind.
As you probably know Andrea & George flew up to meet us, I don't think they knew what was in store but took it all in like the troopers that they are.
I can't do justice by putting it in a post so I'll point you to:
Andi's Version of What Happened
Michael's Pictures of the Events
Andi's Pictures of the Events
That's all I'm gonna say since I had to sign that silly confidentiality waiver!
As you probably know Andrea & George flew up to meet us, I don't think they knew what was in store but took it all in like the troopers that they are.
I can't do justice by putting it in a post so I'll point you to:
Andi's Version of What Happened
Michael's Pictures of the Events
Andi's Pictures of the Events
That's all I'm gonna say since I had to sign that silly confidentiality waiver!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Nipple
That's singular not plural.
Well I just dropped Andi & George off at the aiport.
Let's just say the phrase that pays is: Nipple
Well I just dropped Andi & George off at the aiport.
Let's just say the phrase that pays is: Nipple
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
She was meant to be Queen
In less than 24 hours the infamous Andi & George will be setting foot on Illinois soil.
Preparations are at hand to make sure that they're treated like a King & Queen, especially since it's Chicago's St Patrick's Day Celebration Weekend.
I've arranged to have the Chicago River dyed green in celebration of their visit, I think they'll be pleasantly surprised.
I've actually been to the St Patrick's Day Parade.....once.....and that was more than enough. We got caught on the wrong side of the parade and were literally trapped. I have never seen a more boring parade, every other group was a bunch of little girls doing the Lord of the Dance dance.....it's so freaky when you see all of these little girls dressed exactly the same and even more freaky is they all have the same HAIR. Yes you heard me right, they all have the same hair. I guess I'm sorta like Chandler Bing in how much they freak me out.
But I think the thing that they'll be most shocked about is this years St Patrick's Day Queen If there was any girl in the world who was meant to be the St Patrick's Day Queen it is truly this girl.
It's sort of sad though that her parents gave her the name that they did.....I mean it's sort of like when someone is named Robert Roberts.....come on folks, get a little creative.
Well I must return to the preparations for the visitors, there's so little to do and so much time...oh wait, strike that...reverse it.
Preparations are at hand to make sure that they're treated like a King & Queen, especially since it's Chicago's St Patrick's Day Celebration Weekend.
I've arranged to have the Chicago River dyed green in celebration of their visit, I think they'll be pleasantly surprised.
I've actually been to the St Patrick's Day Parade.....once.....and that was more than enough. We got caught on the wrong side of the parade and were literally trapped. I have never seen a more boring parade, every other group was a bunch of little girls doing the Lord of the Dance dance.....it's so freaky when you see all of these little girls dressed exactly the same and even more freaky is they all have the same HAIR. Yes you heard me right, they all have the same hair. I guess I'm sorta like Chandler Bing in how much they freak me out.
But I think the thing that they'll be most shocked about is this years St Patrick's Day Queen If there was any girl in the world who was meant to be the St Patrick's Day Queen it is truly this girl.
It's sort of sad though that her parents gave her the name that they did.....I mean it's sort of like when someone is named Robert Roberts.....come on folks, get a little creative.
Well I must return to the preparations for the visitors, there's so little to do and so much time...oh wait, strike that...reverse it.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Funky Kool-Aid
What kind of funky kool-aid flavors do you have in your neck of the woods?
I typically don't use a full cup of sugar because I don't like it Hawaiin Punch sweet but I did this time since it was a new flavor. Jamaica tastes like.....not really sweet a little bit sour...not overpowering just sort of "RED"
You can tell how red it was by my tongue that was after only one sip of the powerful elixir!
The Difference Between Dogs & Cats
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!
9:40 a.m. Got to go to the park! Rolled in some really nasty stuff,was so proud of myself. Humans were less than impressed.
10:30 a.m. Got my tummy rubbed and petted -- I'm in love!
12:00 p.m. Lunch: yummy!
1:00 p.m. Played in the yard: I loved it!
3:00 p.m. Stared adoringly at my masters ... they're the best!
4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids got home! I was so happy I wasbouncing off the walls!
5:00 p.m. Milk bones -- awesome!
7:00 p.m. Got to play ball! What a day, this was too good to be true!
8:00 p.m. Wow: watching TV with my master! Heavenly!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 683 of My Captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hashor some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rationsperfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up mystrength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In anattempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. Ihad hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearlydemonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescendingcomments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placedin solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I couldhear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was dueto my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use itto my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of mytormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try thisagain tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seemsmore than willing to return! He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant -- I observe him communicating with theguards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captorshave arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he issafe-- for now. But I can wait.
It is only a matter of time...
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Wow! A car ride! This is a blast!
9:40 a.m. Got to go to the park! Rolled in some really nasty stuff,was so proud of myself. Humans were less than impressed.
10:30 a.m. Got my tummy rubbed and petted -- I'm in love!
12:00 p.m. Lunch: yummy!
1:00 p.m. Played in the yard: I loved it!
3:00 p.m. Stared adoringly at my masters ... they're the best!
4:00 p.m. Hooray! The kids got home! I was so happy I wasbouncing off the walls!
5:00 p.m. Milk bones -- awesome!
7:00 p.m. Got to play ball! What a day, this was too good to be true!
8:00 p.m. Wow: watching TV with my master! Heavenly!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 683 of My Captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hashor some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rationsperfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up mystrength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In anattempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. Ihad hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearlydemonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescendingcomments about what a ''good little hunter'' I am. The audacity!!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placedin solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I couldhear the noise and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was dueto my power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use itto my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of mytormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try thisagain tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released--and he seemsmore than willing to return! He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant -- I observe him communicating with theguards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captorshave arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he issafe-- for now. But I can wait.
It is only a matter of time...
Why did this happen?
How is that that Tom Delay, who was indicted for felony money laundering and forced to step down as the House Majority Leader won the primary in Texas?!? That makes no sense to me. LINK
And now, something near and dear to my heart - homosexuals. I can't figure out why Americans remain so closed-minded, puritanical and just plain stupid? This summer Chicago is going to be hosting the Gay Games which I think is amazing, but personally since I'm not a sports minded boy it's not that big of a deal to me. I lived in Atlanta when they hosted the Olympics and it was more of a hassle living there during that time...but the results were spectacular.
So there's a big controversy going on right now (just like when they held the Olympics in Atlanta) in Crystal Lake where a rowing event is scheduled to take place LINK
Everyone is up in arms because they don't want the Mo's coming into their town and spoiling everything. They had a vote at the Park District last week on whether to allow the event to occur, it was 2 to 2 with one person absent (conveniently the President of the Park District Board). Last night they held another vote (with the President this time) and it passed 3 to 2.
It's all over the news this morning and the best are those ignorant people spouting off rhetoric about something they know nothing about.
The best one was this ratty haired mother who said "I protect my children, I make sure I know what they're doing and what they're exposed to, I can't believe that the Park District would allow something like this to happen." I would have loved an opportunity to ask her if she lets her children watch TV or play video games....I think that they would be exposed to much more dangerous and potentially life altering things via those channels than one event on one day happening in a Park District that probably is nowhere near where she lives, I'd also like to ask her if she and her family regularly attends the park in question. It just amazes me how people can spout off yet have no idea of the real impact.
She may be "protecting" her children but really what's she's doing is teaching them that it's ok to hate and not be tolerant of other people, races, lifestyles, etc.
Maybe that's what she wants to teach them, but then again that's her choice isn't it?
I think it's time to Grow Up America!
And now, something near and dear to my heart - homosexuals. I can't figure out why Americans remain so closed-minded, puritanical and just plain stupid? This summer Chicago is going to be hosting the Gay Games which I think is amazing, but personally since I'm not a sports minded boy it's not that big of a deal to me. I lived in Atlanta when they hosted the Olympics and it was more of a hassle living there during that time...but the results were spectacular.
So there's a big controversy going on right now (just like when they held the Olympics in Atlanta) in Crystal Lake where a rowing event is scheduled to take place LINK
Everyone is up in arms because they don't want the Mo's coming into their town and spoiling everything. They had a vote at the Park District last week on whether to allow the event to occur, it was 2 to 2 with one person absent (conveniently the President of the Park District Board). Last night they held another vote (with the President this time) and it passed 3 to 2.
It's all over the news this morning and the best are those ignorant people spouting off rhetoric about something they know nothing about.
The best one was this ratty haired mother who said "I protect my children, I make sure I know what they're doing and what they're exposed to, I can't believe that the Park District would allow something like this to happen." I would have loved an opportunity to ask her if she lets her children watch TV or play video games....I think that they would be exposed to much more dangerous and potentially life altering things via those channels than one event on one day happening in a Park District that probably is nowhere near where she lives, I'd also like to ask her if she and her family regularly attends the park in question. It just amazes me how people can spout off yet have no idea of the real impact.
She may be "protecting" her children but really what's she's doing is teaching them that it's ok to hate and not be tolerant of other people, races, lifestyles, etc.
Maybe that's what she wants to teach them, but then again that's her choice isn't it?
I think it's time to Grow Up America!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Stupid Post Office
I seriously think that the post office is totally screwed up.
Finally after weeks of getting taunting emails "did you get my letter" "did you get my card" and every time having to hang my head in shame and say "no I haven't gotten it yet"...I went to the Post Office and what was there but a cornucopia of letters.
Postcards
Envelopes
There was even a question mark next to "The Boys" which means that the post office is finally doing their job.
I coming to the realization that they never opened my po box when they said they did....but you know what, it's working now!
I can't tell you the excitement of going to the post office and opening that little box and seeing something inside of it! What joy.....
So now we've got some posing to do this weekend....thank goodness I'll have visitors that will be able to assist.
Finally after weeks of getting taunting emails "did you get my letter" "did you get my card" and every time having to hang my head in shame and say "no I haven't gotten it yet"...I went to the Post Office and what was there but a cornucopia of letters.
Postcards
Envelopes
There was even a question mark next to "The Boys" which means that the post office is finally doing their job.
I coming to the realization that they never opened my po box when they said they did....but you know what, it's working now!
I can't tell you the excitement of going to the post office and opening that little box and seeing something inside of it! What joy.....
So now we've got some posing to do this weekend....thank goodness I'll have visitors that will be able to assist.
How did that happen
So back in November we had a Team Building excercise at work....bowling!
I made a movie and everyone got a good laugh out of it.....well we had another bowling adventure and it was "expected" that I would make another movie.
So here it is:
I made a movie and everyone got a good laugh out of it.....well we had another bowling adventure and it was "expected" that I would make another movie.
So here it is:
It really happened
I guess I'm going with the "happened" headline today.
So I'm perusing FARK today (if you haven't been there I suggest you click on the linky, it's pretty fun).
There's a link to a story about a guy who got caught trying to get the nasty on with a sheep, in Arizona nonetheless....not even like Alabama or West Virginia or Kentucky even (where you might expect it - sorry to those readers in those states I'm just teasing ya know).
What I find interesting (disgusting actually) is that someone tried to get it on with a sheep? I mean we all hear the jokes and they even sell those blow up sheep dolls at the Adult Boutique (or so I've been told, ahem) but really I never thought anyone would actually try to have sex with a sheep.
I mean I grew up on a farm and everyone tells stories of how they used to go "Cow Tipping" which is a load of malarky if you ask me....I mean really do you think that you're going to sneak up on a 1200 pound animal in the middle of the night and tip it over.....anyways, Cows do lie down to sleep. Plus do you really think you're going to walk all the way through a cow pasture and not step in something which makes you scream out in disgust and warn the animals that you're on the way to tip them over?!?
So if you have actually gone cowtipping I'd like to know about it....share your story. But please if you've tried to get it on with a sheep, I think you should just hold onto that story.
So I'm perusing FARK today (if you haven't been there I suggest you click on the linky, it's pretty fun).
There's a link to a story about a guy who got caught trying to get the nasty on with a sheep, in Arizona nonetheless....not even like Alabama or West Virginia or Kentucky even (where you might expect it - sorry to those readers in those states I'm just teasing ya know).
What I find interesting (disgusting actually) is that someone tried to get it on with a sheep? I mean we all hear the jokes and they even sell those blow up sheep dolls at the Adult Boutique (or so I've been told, ahem) but really I never thought anyone would actually try to have sex with a sheep.
I mean I grew up on a farm and everyone tells stories of how they used to go "Cow Tipping" which is a load of malarky if you ask me....I mean really do you think that you're going to sneak up on a 1200 pound animal in the middle of the night and tip it over.....anyways, Cows do lie down to sleep. Plus do you really think you're going to walk all the way through a cow pasture and not step in something which makes you scream out in disgust and warn the animals that you're on the way to tip them over?!?
So if you have actually gone cowtipping I'd like to know about it....share your story. But please if you've tried to get it on with a sheep, I think you should just hold onto that story.
What happened
I always thought that Yanni was such a hottie.Now I'm not into long hair on guys AT ALL....but I do like moustaches, and with Yanni the moustache was enough to offset the long hair. Has anyone ever seen him without his shirt on? I sort of think that since he's greek he probably only has the facial hair...why is that? Guys that have tons of facial hair sometimes never have any body hair....that's just creepy.
Well apparently Yanni (aka Johnathan Yanni Christopher) was arrested over the weekend due to a domestic dispute with his 33 year old girlfriend. Yanni is 51 so that makes an 18 year difference. Poor Yanni, the years have not been good for him. Check out this link to see a current picture!
Saturday, March 04, 2006
I must remember........
To get some of that new Ultra Charmain for our house guests that arrive next week.
Goodness knows I wouldn't want her to think I use 1-ply!
Question for the day?
DO YOU......Trust bloggers who don't post any pictures at all?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
Go!
Discuss amongst yourselves.
Go!
Friday, March 03, 2006
Posting Frenzy
Thought I would share this little tidbit with you since Lent is now upon us! Mardi Gras and Carnavale has passed and it's time for all the good Catholics to "give something up" for Lent.
I once had a boss who told me "My wife gave up sex for Lent, I didn't find out until the 4th of July" What was even funnier is that he was Jewish!
So what are you giving up for Lent?
I once had a boss who told me "My wife gave up sex for Lent, I didn't find out until the 4th of July" What was even funnier is that he was Jewish!
So what are you giving up for Lent?
7 Days and Counting
In 7 days Chicago is going to be receiving some amazing guests from Ohio! Can you guess who it's going to be?
Here's a great joke about Ohio (I used to live there so I can say it):
What's high in the middle with nothing on both ends? OHIO!
Here's a great joke about Ohio (I used to live there so I can say it):
What's high in the middle with nothing on both ends? OHIO!
So what's up with that?
Geez, I have a Blogversary and then I stop posting, what's up with that?
I apologize for my lack of posting but life has gotten busy (you all know how that can be). Work has been keeping me busy during working hours (if you can believe that) and when I've gotten home I've been working on some projects that I need to complete, so I'm sorry I haven't posted.
In fact this morning as I was driving home from The Boyfriends house (yes you read that right I stayed at his house last night) I was trying to remember when I last posted....and it was a week ago, my how time flies!
So what is up with everyone butting in line whether it's in a car or in line for the elevator or escalator or my personal favorite the train.
I live a few short blocks from the CTA and I know my stop. What I mean by that is I know where the train is going to stop and where the doors are going to be when it stops...so I always position myself in the right spot so that when the train stops and the doors open I can just step right onto the train. The one thing that totally gets under my skin is when people try to get in front of me...I mean I'm standing right where the door is going to be and I'm at the edge of the platform yet people insist on shoving in front to be "the first" one on the train. Well buddy guess what, there's already 200 people on the train you're not the first one.
While I'm on the topic of butting in line, why can't American's form a line? When we were in London last year (oops 2004 now) I was amazed at how organized those Brits were in "The Tube". Everyone got on and off the train in an organized manner and WOW - when riding the escalator they stood on the right and walked on the left....what an amazing concept!
We Americans (even with the use of signs) still think that an escalator is free game and you can stand/walk/lay down where ever whenever you want to regardless of the number of people that are standing behind you wanting to pass.
Oh no, now I've gotten myself started.....It isn't just the escalator it's the Sidewalk too. Now for those of you who don't have to worry about walking on the sidewalk everyday, which side do you think you walk on? On the right, right? Well that's what a normal person would think but here in Chicago people walk on the left, on the right, down the middle and then when you don't move out of their way they give you the evil eye. I always walk on the right and I used to move when people would be walking on my side (their Left) but now I don't anymore, I make them move. That and people who have to walk 3 astride down the sidewalk and then when they see you, you're forced to move out onto the street to get by, how rude!
Ok, I'm done ranting now, aren't you glad I'm back?
Hey have a HAPPY FRIDAY!
I apologize for my lack of posting but life has gotten busy (you all know how that can be). Work has been keeping me busy during working hours (if you can believe that) and when I've gotten home I've been working on some projects that I need to complete, so I'm sorry I haven't posted.
In fact this morning as I was driving home from The Boyfriends house (yes you read that right I stayed at his house last night) I was trying to remember when I last posted....and it was a week ago, my how time flies!
So what is up with everyone butting in line whether it's in a car or in line for the elevator or escalator or my personal favorite the train.
I live a few short blocks from the CTA and I know my stop. What I mean by that is I know where the train is going to stop and where the doors are going to be when it stops...so I always position myself in the right spot so that when the train stops and the doors open I can just step right onto the train. The one thing that totally gets under my skin is when people try to get in front of me...I mean I'm standing right where the door is going to be and I'm at the edge of the platform yet people insist on shoving in front to be "the first" one on the train. Well buddy guess what, there's already 200 people on the train you're not the first one.
While I'm on the topic of butting in line, why can't American's form a line? When we were in London last year (oops 2004 now) I was amazed at how organized those Brits were in "The Tube". Everyone got on and off the train in an organized manner and WOW - when riding the escalator they stood on the right and walked on the left....what an amazing concept!
We Americans (even with the use of signs) still think that an escalator is free game and you can stand/walk/lay down where ever whenever you want to regardless of the number of people that are standing behind you wanting to pass.
Oh no, now I've gotten myself started.....It isn't just the escalator it's the Sidewalk too. Now for those of you who don't have to worry about walking on the sidewalk everyday, which side do you think you walk on? On the right, right? Well that's what a normal person would think but here in Chicago people walk on the left, on the right, down the middle and then when you don't move out of their way they give you the evil eye. I always walk on the right and I used to move when people would be walking on my side (their Left) but now I don't anymore, I make them move. That and people who have to walk 3 astride down the sidewalk and then when they see you, you're forced to move out onto the street to get by, how rude!
Ok, I'm done ranting now, aren't you glad I'm back?
Hey have a HAPPY FRIDAY!
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