What good is a suit? Part IV

After a quick walk down an impressive hallway, we entered “The Everest Room” and approached the maitre de stand and quietly held our breath. We were quickly greeted and given the once over (Suit-check, tie-check, nice shoes-check) and then verified against the computer to make sure we were on the list. I was happy to say “Yes, we have a 6:30 reservation, and we both wore our new suits, don’t we look hot?” Well I didn’t say all that, I thought some of it, I’m not telling which part was which though. He looked at the reservation and said, “Oh yes, we’re celebrating a birthday this evening.” The Boyfriend looked at me and went ‘huh.’ When I made the reservation the lady asked if we were celebrating an event, I said we were celebrating The Boyfriends birthday (which was closer than my birthday so it wasn’t a complete lie)

As we walked into the restaurant a whole new world materialized around us. A world of the fancy and elite, a world of white marble, tables in odd sizes and arrangements draped with fine 1200 thread count table cloths, overdone mirrors, ornate gold scones, windows along the entire west side of the restaurant, a world like we had never experienced before. The big question running through my head was “I wonder where were we’re going to sit?”

Perhaps there in that perfect table centered in the window? Oh no, not there. Oh no, I hope we’re not at that terrible table against the wall with no view? Whew, nope not there either. How about over there, along the side wall, next to a mirror and with a general view of the city, yes that will be perfect. The table was on an outside wall so we had the opportunity to watch the entire dining room and we had a slice of a view of the city. Well I wouldn’t call it a great view of the city it was actually very difficult to see, I had to crane my neck until I felt it was going to pop off of my body and then turn at a strange angle so I could get a view between the lady, the table and her wine glass. I had to stop admiring the view when her husband gave me the strangest look. Hey it wasn’t like I was cruising him or anything, I wanted to say “I was trying to look outside! I wasn’t looking at your wife’s boobs.” Actually though it worked out well, with the strategically placed mirrors I was able to watch the couple behind us have dinner and talk way too loudly, it was fabulous.

So there we are, two frauds sitting amongst the elite of the city. Now we were really in trouble! As we surveyed our surroundings we realized that the only things on the table were a bread plate and knife, a water glass, a champagne glass, our napkins on a chafer, a sculpture and a salt and pepper well (not shakers, wells with freshly ground pepper and salt directly from the shores of Italy), that was it, where the hell was the rest of my silverware…what kind of place is this? Did they expect to eat with our hands? Was this some kind of high-class Medieval Times?

Well…we soon found out the answer to that question!