What Good is a Suit Part VIII - The Finale

On the way
Originally uploaded by Michael_L.

***NOTE*** Thank you for putting up with such a "long post" I did not intend for it to span 8 separate posts......but I wanted to share the whole thing with you because it really was a wonderful evening and since I took pictures the entire evening, I knew I had to share them with you. So to take a gander at our evening, check out the photos by clicking on the picture.

Our dinner experience was ending, almost 2 hours after it had started. We reluctantly wiped the corners of our mouths with the cloth napkins and asked for the bill.

Let me just say that this was not the most expensive dinner I’ve ever paid for (the other one was when I invited my friends to help me celebrate my birthday and ended up picking up the check for all of them as a surprise), but it was the most expensive dinner I’ve ever had for two people.

I remember way back in 1985 we went to Las Vegas for a convention, the company we worked for took us out to dinner, there had to have been 8 or 10 of us and that bill came to $500 but there were a lot of people…..it was just The Boyfriend and me on this check.

But you know what, we knew it was going to be expensive and we knew we wouldn’t be coming here again…so what the heck, plus we were celebrating The Boyfriends Birthday!

The Waiter delivered our check in a beautiful black leather (not pleather like at TGIFridays ((link is noisy)) presenter, oh so classy, that’s when it finally hit me. I inched the presenter open, wanting to look but wanting to look away at the same time. I looked at the total!!! WHEW! Did we eat that much food? Suddenly thoughts were running through my head: Do you think they’ll let us wash dishes for a while to make up for this? I wonder if I could be the “bread boy” for a night? Would it be possible for us to make a run for it?

Fortunately I had anticipated an amount this large and made sure that we were adequately covered. I handed the waiter the Gift Certificate and 4 credit cards and told him how much to put on each one, after every card he winced just a little bit more, hey I wanted to see how good of a waiter he really was! Actually I’m just joking, I would never do that, I only gave him 3 cards to split it over : -)

When The Waiter returned the check he asked if we would require a cab, we told him yes we would love to have a cab, he said they would be glad to call one for us. I was waiting for him to say that the restaurant was going to pick up the cost of the taxi, but those words were never uttered. Bastard!

Quickly our experience was coming to a close, appetizers were long forgotten the entrée was slowly working it’s way through our stomachs and the cocktails had definitely affected our ability to stand upright without assistance, but we knew it would end, just not as soon as it did. Our visit with the Wheelers and Dealers and Chic of Chicago was quickly coming to its final curtain call.

We approached our oh so loved private elevator and pressed the call button. We begrudgingly transferred to the elevator the dirty general public uses and I pushed the lobby button with my finger, the finger that was conveniently covered by my jacket. After experiencing a dinner like that I didn’t want to spoil the illusion of what had just occurred by touching something as common as an elevator button.

As we exited the elevators the night guard bid us good evening and opened the gates for us. As we went twirling through the revolving door, reality hit. Right in the face, like a hot summer day in the south. I couldn’t believe it, it was all over, just like a dream, I tried quickly to commit everything to memory so that I could recall in years to come. But now we were back at ground level with the peons sucking up diesel fumes with the rest of them, oh how I wanted to go back upstairs….but I knew my credit card just couldn’t handle it.

Well, I bet you were thinking that we got out of that place with only a hefty bill and a sweet reminder of the food on our tongues? Well if you had bet, you would have lost….of course I ended up with a souvenir. Whilst I was visiting the Gentleman’s Lounge I fell in love with the paper hand towels they were using. They were almost the consistency of cloth but had the absorbency of a plus paper towel, they were beautiful….so I stuck a few in my pocket, hey they weren’t going to miss them. I secured them quickly and quietly into the breast jacket of my new suit, I had found the perfect reason to have a suit – to steal paper towels with!

As we hopped in the cab and started chatting about the evening, The Boyfriend said “I got you something.” Was he going to pop the question? Was this the moment I had dreamt about since Jr. High School……..he slowly reached into his jacket…and pulled out three more napkins for me. It was truly funny when I pulled out my napkins and said “I got some too.” Who would have thought it. So the towels have a place of “honor” in the bathroom, but really if you ever come to visit don’t use them otherwise I’ll have to kill you. It’s not that I want to remember that night forever….no it’s that each one of those fuckers cost $63.20 each, no one is EVER going to use them.

But hey at least I learned what a suit is good for!